Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
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Tuesday, December 31, 2002
Site is Up!
The blog isn't on there yet, but some other stuff is. This is just a temporary domain until the actual domain registration goes through. I stayed up all night messin with it, and had some strange experiences along the way. I'll have to fill ya in later.
The blog isn't on there yet, but some other stuff is. This is just a temporary domain until the actual domain registration goes through. I stayed up all night messin with it, and had some strange experiences along the way. I'll have to fill ya in later.
Monday, December 30, 2002
Saturday, December 28, 2002
Knowing Me
I was searching for some music to listen to, and I found a cd full of music I used to listen to when I came back from Texas. I was working to get over Eric, and burned a cd of music. I was with noah, but it was still only about 6 months since I left Eric. Eric, and the life that we had together, were hard to get over.
It's almost like an entirely different life, looking back on it now. It's almost like I was more free in spirit at that time then I am now. Maybe not so much free as there was a hell of alot more going on at that time. Maybe since so much was going on, I didn't have a chance to get into my mind and think about all the emotional bullshit so much. Who knows.
We left Portage, Indiana early in the morning, with everything for 3 people packed into a small Ford Ranger, driving non-stop for 22 hours straight to west Texas. Odessa, that was our destination. It was about 3 hours north of El Paso, and prolly about the same from New Mexico. I took lots of pictures of nothing. Road signs, us in the car, crazy stuff. It was a complete thrill. I was 19 years old, on the run from life, and on my way to Texas. We listened to music, watched the daylight and the sceenery change, and smoked lots and lots of weed.
It was just Eric, Daniel (his friend), and I. Eric was 28, and had lived in Odessa, Texas for a few years before he met me, that is where he met Daniel. They met up again when we were in Indiana, because they were both they were both roofers, and met up there roofing houses after a severe hail storm. Daniel had alot of friends in Texas, and even one that got him a one bedroom house to come back to. And thats where we were headed, to Daniel's house.
We knew we had somewhere to stay, didn't have to worry about that. They were roof/construction guys, they didn't worry about work. And me being female, knew that between two guys (was only with Eric though), I would be taken care of. No worries.
All I wanted to do was fly, and that I did. Met all sorts of people, lived with the excitement, drank the beers, smoked the cigars, and got the t-shirt and cup to go along with it. We made little trip toys out of bread sacks to go along with our acid nights. Drank lots of whine to bring us down to reality. And even had a few nights with the crazy woman next door.
After a while I began to wind down, trying to figure out what hell I'm doing with my life. Getting high everyday was becoming a little mudane, and staying home while the guys when to work, got quite boring.
Eric was a very suspicious character, so I had to get used to explaining everything that happened during the day. That really began to kill the fun. I wasn't going around giving bodily taste tests, I was very commited to Eric. He just didnt' want to believe that.
Even thought I am now happily married, I still believe Eric and I would still be together if he wasn't so jealous and controlling. He had alot of love in his heart, but he had alot of hate there too. The closest ones always pay for the hate.
Eric used to suspicious of Daniel too, especially since he lived in the same house. Suspicious that I was screwing Daniel, yet he always only confronted me about the 'problem'. That got old real quick. After about 4 months, I decided that the relationship wasn't going anywhere.
I took another trip. This time is was home. Iowa. Back to the place I was running from, and yet suddenly I was running back to it.
Before Eric and I moved to Indiana, we were both completely hooked on crank, I was shooting it. So I was going back to the scariest place I could think of going. The people where there, the 'tweek friends'. I was scared that they would find me. Thats prolly one of the big reasons why I stayed with Eric for as long as I did ( a year ). I hadn't done any crank since I had moved to Indiana, I wanted it, yet I didn't, I was fighting and scared.
I came back to Iowa, and I was okay. I hid out at my mom's for a few months, and then I met noah. What i can I say, noah is the calm after the storm. I gave him so much hell before we got married. I fought him for my extreme excitement, but in the end I let him win.
To sum it all up, it's too bad that most of our personal experience is unspeakable. It's that unspeakable truth that makes each of us difference for our own reasons. If you could understand my unspeakable truth, wouldn't you be my best friend, because you could finally relate.
But, if I took the time to tell you, would you get caught in the words I speak, and you understand them as only you could understand them (from your own personal life), and then judge my life because my life wasn't understood (lived) by you?
I was searching for some music to listen to, and I found a cd full of music I used to listen to when I came back from Texas. I was working to get over Eric, and burned a cd of music. I was with noah, but it was still only about 6 months since I left Eric. Eric, and the life that we had together, were hard to get over.
It's almost like an entirely different life, looking back on it now. It's almost like I was more free in spirit at that time then I am now. Maybe not so much free as there was a hell of alot more going on at that time. Maybe since so much was going on, I didn't have a chance to get into my mind and think about all the emotional bullshit so much. Who knows.
We left Portage, Indiana early in the morning, with everything for 3 people packed into a small Ford Ranger, driving non-stop for 22 hours straight to west Texas. Odessa, that was our destination. It was about 3 hours north of El Paso, and prolly about the same from New Mexico. I took lots of pictures of nothing. Road signs, us in the car, crazy stuff. It was a complete thrill. I was 19 years old, on the run from life, and on my way to Texas. We listened to music, watched the daylight and the sceenery change, and smoked lots and lots of weed.
It was just Eric, Daniel (his friend), and I. Eric was 28, and had lived in Odessa, Texas for a few years before he met me, that is where he met Daniel. They met up again when we were in Indiana, because they were both they were both roofers, and met up there roofing houses after a severe hail storm. Daniel had alot of friends in Texas, and even one that got him a one bedroom house to come back to. And thats where we were headed, to Daniel's house.
We knew we had somewhere to stay, didn't have to worry about that. They were roof/construction guys, they didn't worry about work. And me being female, knew that between two guys (was only with Eric though), I would be taken care of. No worries.
All I wanted to do was fly, and that I did. Met all sorts of people, lived with the excitement, drank the beers, smoked the cigars, and got the t-shirt and cup to go along with it. We made little trip toys out of bread sacks to go along with our acid nights. Drank lots of whine to bring us down to reality. And even had a few nights with the crazy woman next door.
After a while I began to wind down, trying to figure out what hell I'm doing with my life. Getting high everyday was becoming a little mudane, and staying home while the guys when to work, got quite boring.
Eric was a very suspicious character, so I had to get used to explaining everything that happened during the day. That really began to kill the fun. I wasn't going around giving bodily taste tests, I was very commited to Eric. He just didnt' want to believe that.
Even thought I am now happily married, I still believe Eric and I would still be together if he wasn't so jealous and controlling. He had alot of love in his heart, but he had alot of hate there too. The closest ones always pay for the hate.
Eric used to suspicious of Daniel too, especially since he lived in the same house. Suspicious that I was screwing Daniel, yet he always only confronted me about the 'problem'. That got old real quick. After about 4 months, I decided that the relationship wasn't going anywhere.
I took another trip. This time is was home. Iowa. Back to the place I was running from, and yet suddenly I was running back to it.
Before Eric and I moved to Indiana, we were both completely hooked on crank, I was shooting it. So I was going back to the scariest place I could think of going. The people where there, the 'tweek friends'. I was scared that they would find me. Thats prolly one of the big reasons why I stayed with Eric for as long as I did ( a year ). I hadn't done any crank since I had moved to Indiana, I wanted it, yet I didn't, I was fighting and scared.
I came back to Iowa, and I was okay. I hid out at my mom's for a few months, and then I met noah. What i can I say, noah is the calm after the storm. I gave him so much hell before we got married. I fought him for my extreme excitement, but in the end I let him win.
To sum it all up, it's too bad that most of our personal experience is unspeakable. It's that unspeakable truth that makes each of us difference for our own reasons. If you could understand my unspeakable truth, wouldn't you be my best friend, because you could finally relate.
But, if I took the time to tell you, would you get caught in the words I speak, and you understand them as only you could understand them (from your own personal life), and then judge my life because my life wasn't understood (lived) by you?
Friday, December 27, 2002
Long Icq Converation with a Brazillian Guy
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: hi
Lindsey: me's playin wormz
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: ok
Lindsey: u play wormz?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: no...
Lindsey: lol
Lindsey: whatcha play?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: lol o caray
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: nothing
Lindsey: poor poor shawn
Lindsey: lol
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: lol o caray
Lindsey: me's gettin drunk gettin my ass kicked
Lindsey: what the hell does that mean?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: lol... nothing
Lindsey: okie
Lindsey: you ever get an email addy?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: no
Lindsey: get on the net and make one dammit
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: i won´t
Lindsey: why not?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: eu num to afim
Lindsey: uh huh
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: c num intede essas bosta q eu to falanu mesmo!! intao!! vai t fude!!
Lindsey: lol
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: lol orra nenhuma
Lindsey: mes have no idear what you'z be's a sayin
Lindsey: what the hell do you do mr brazillian?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: i hate USA
Lindsey: do you live here?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: no
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: and u?
Lindsey: then why the hell did you msg me if you hate usa?
Lindsey: I live in space, didn't ya know
Lindsey: they call me floaty bee
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: what?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: ok...
Lindsey: life is corrupt, isn't it?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: no
Lindsey: well, how is your life doing?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: my life is skatebording
Lindsey: you good?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: yeah....
Lindsey: can you do the 900?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: no....
Lindsey: thats too bad.......hehe
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: and you? what do u do?
Lindsey: I make web pages and raise my daughter and drink beer and smoke weed and live life and make money and be happy :)
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: i hate all
Lindsey: you really shouldn't
Lindsey: just pick one thing and hate that
Lindsey: that works for me
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: yeah...
Lindsey: so whats up with hating all ?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: what do u thing about brasil?
Lindsey: I don't know......the only thing I know about brazil is I think you speak spanish and that if you are running from the law you won't be extradited from there
Lindsey: oh yeah, and it's hot and humid
Lindsey: and another thing, you got hot chics
Lindsey: nice tan maybe?
Lindsey: so whats it really like?>
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: if you are running from the law you won't be extradited from there???
Lindsey: if you are a usa citizen, and you are running from the law (in the usa), you run to brazil and the brazillian government wont' send up back to the usa to be punished
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: ok....
Lindsey: brazil is freedom to a fugitive
Lindsey: lol
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: bullshit
Lindsey: so tell me what it's like
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: brazilian is a country where have much unlike social cuz here have muck currupition, and USA help to do this
Lindsey: I did not know this, how?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: corrupition!!
Lindsey: how?
Lindsey: when?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: USA explora so much Brazil
Lindsey: what do we explore?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: our florest
Lindsey: so we're destroying brazil?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: a litle.... do you know anything about ALCA?
Lindsey: no.....what is it?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: mean Americas free comercy zone
Lindsey: so that means we can buy and sell freely without having to go through all sorts of shit.....like dont' have to listen to any laws or something?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: yeah... and USA is more prepered for this, do u agree?
Lindsey: I agree that usa prolly 'goes between the lines' of laws or rules that are set between countries......very much politcal bullshit
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: thats
Lindsey: ?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: that´s rigth
Lindsey: I do not agree with alot of the usa policies that are set between countries, but we are really not given much of a way to change what they do, we are allowed to vote and protest....thats it
Lindsey: and even if we protest, most people don't want to listen
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: i not agre with u
Lindsey: why not?
Lindsey: they have our hands tied, if we protest too much, they are makin laws to take away our rights as we speak, this is what our new president is doing behind our backs
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: cuz USA want to be more and more rich.... this with the rich of the poor countrys
Lindsey: yes, I agree, usa is mighty greedy, but not all of them
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: yeah
Lindsey: you have brought up something I have been thinking alot about lately, we in the usa are fortunate to have what we have right now. But I strongly agree that our current president is going to fuck us
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: fuck my people?
Lindsey: no, me, usa citizen
Lindsey: if you hate the usa, I'm sure you prolly don't mind
Lindsey: but I do
Lindsey: I wish we could all make things work, as a whole, but government and politics always get in the way
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: soh
Lindsey: right now on our news we see things about getting ready to attack iraq, bombings in chechnya, russia, the whole thing with North Korea, all about war. Sometimes i wonder if our president wants to take over the world
Lindsey: never hear anything about brazil, thats for sure
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: oks
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: how old are u?
Lindsey: 22
Lindsey: u?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: 16
Lindsey: I like debating with you
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: why?
Lindsey: you make me think
Lindsey: how did you learn english? is it a second language?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: sure... in world happen many things that the people don´t know.... antil about own country....
Lindsey: keep me informed, the media sure doesn't say anything good anymore
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: the media say only about the people sure have to know.... the thing that the goverment want to pass
Lindsey: yeah, the government seems to rule all
Lindsey: I don't like to government
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: i too..... (my english is very bad) can u understand that?
Lindsey: I understand you
Lindsey: If I dont' I will let you know
Lindsey: you have been speaking really good so far
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: now... i´m leaving;.. keep thinking!!
Lindsey: hehe
Lindsey: okay :)
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: hehehe......
----------------------------------------------
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: hi
Lindsey: me's playin wormz
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: ok
Lindsey: u play wormz?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: no...
Lindsey: lol
Lindsey: whatcha play?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: lol o caray
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: nothing
Lindsey: poor poor shawn
Lindsey: lol
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: lol o caray
Lindsey: me's gettin drunk gettin my ass kicked
Lindsey: what the hell does that mean?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: lol... nothing
Lindsey: okie
Lindsey: you ever get an email addy?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: no
Lindsey: get on the net and make one dammit
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: i won´t
Lindsey: why not?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: eu num to afim
Lindsey: uh huh
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: c num intede essas bosta q eu to falanu mesmo!! intao!! vai t fude!!
Lindsey: lol
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: lol orra nenhuma
Lindsey: mes have no idear what you'z be's a sayin
Lindsey: what the hell do you do mr brazillian?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: i hate USA
Lindsey: do you live here?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: no
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: and u?
Lindsey: then why the hell did you msg me if you hate usa?
Lindsey: I live in space, didn't ya know
Lindsey: they call me floaty bee
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: what?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: ok...
Lindsey: life is corrupt, isn't it?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: no
Lindsey: well, how is your life doing?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: my life is skatebording
Lindsey: you good?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: yeah....
Lindsey: can you do the 900?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: no....
Lindsey: thats too bad.......hehe
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: and you? what do u do?
Lindsey: I make web pages and raise my daughter and drink beer and smoke weed and live life and make money and be happy :)
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: i hate all
Lindsey: you really shouldn't
Lindsey: just pick one thing and hate that
Lindsey: that works for me
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: yeah...
Lindsey: so whats up with hating all ?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: what do u thing about brasil?
Lindsey: I don't know......the only thing I know about brazil is I think you speak spanish and that if you are running from the law you won't be extradited from there
Lindsey: oh yeah, and it's hot and humid
Lindsey: and another thing, you got hot chics
Lindsey: nice tan maybe?
Lindsey: so whats it really like?>
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: if you are running from the law you won't be extradited from there???
Lindsey: if you are a usa citizen, and you are running from the law (in the usa), you run to brazil and the brazillian government wont' send up back to the usa to be punished
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: ok....
Lindsey: brazil is freedom to a fugitive
Lindsey: lol
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: bullshit
Lindsey: so tell me what it's like
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: brazilian is a country where have much unlike social cuz here have muck currupition, and USA help to do this
Lindsey: I did not know this, how?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: corrupition!!
Lindsey: how?
Lindsey: when?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: USA explora so much Brazil
Lindsey: what do we explore?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: our florest
Lindsey: so we're destroying brazil?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: a litle.... do you know anything about ALCA?
Lindsey: no.....what is it?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: mean Americas free comercy zone
Lindsey: so that means we can buy and sell freely without having to go through all sorts of shit.....like dont' have to listen to any laws or something?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: yeah... and USA is more prepered for this, do u agree?
Lindsey: I agree that usa prolly 'goes between the lines' of laws or rules that are set between countries......very much politcal bullshit
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: thats
Lindsey: ?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: that´s rigth
Lindsey: I do not agree with alot of the usa policies that are set between countries, but we are really not given much of a way to change what they do, we are allowed to vote and protest....thats it
Lindsey: and even if we protest, most people don't want to listen
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: i not agre with u
Lindsey: why not?
Lindsey: they have our hands tied, if we protest too much, they are makin laws to take away our rights as we speak, this is what our new president is doing behind our backs
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: cuz USA want to be more and more rich.... this with the rich of the poor countrys
Lindsey: yes, I agree, usa is mighty greedy, but not all of them
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: yeah
Lindsey: you have brought up something I have been thinking alot about lately, we in the usa are fortunate to have what we have right now. But I strongly agree that our current president is going to fuck us
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: fuck my people?
Lindsey: no, me, usa citizen
Lindsey: if you hate the usa, I'm sure you prolly don't mind
Lindsey: but I do
Lindsey: I wish we could all make things work, as a whole, but government and politics always get in the way
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: soh
Lindsey: right now on our news we see things about getting ready to attack iraq, bombings in chechnya, russia, the whole thing with North Korea, all about war. Sometimes i wonder if our president wants to take over the world
Lindsey: never hear anything about brazil, thats for sure
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: oks
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: how old are u?
Lindsey: 22
Lindsey: u?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: 16
Lindsey: I like debating with you
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: why?
Lindsey: you make me think
Lindsey: how did you learn english? is it a second language?
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: sure... in world happen many things that the people don´t know.... antil about own country....
Lindsey: keep me informed, the media sure doesn't say anything good anymore
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: the media say only about the people sure have to know.... the thing that the goverment want to pass
Lindsey: yeah, the government seems to rule all
Lindsey: I don't like to government
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: i too..... (my english is very bad) can u understand that?
Lindsey: I understand you
Lindsey: If I dont' I will let you know
Lindsey: you have been speaking really good so far
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: now... i´m leaving;.. keep thinking!!
Lindsey: hehe
Lindsey: okay :)
-|-Shawn-|- o| ):: hehehe......
----------------------------------------------
Thursday, December 26, 2002
Annessa Got Me......ugh!
Heh heh. I balled you! (uhhhh huhuhuh) Join the Snowball War of 2002!
--------------------------
Heh heh. I balled you! (uhhhh huhuhuh) Join the Snowball War of 2002!
--------------------------
Awesome Christmas
Warning: This is really long
I have had the most awesome Christmas this year. And it's funny because I didn't really have much of the Christmas spirit until sometime the night of Christmas Eve. This is how it went:
After Noah got off work on Christmas Eve, we headed down to his parents house. His parents have a pretty good sized house, so lots of family comes from out of town and stay there for Christmas. And this year, that also included noah's sister and her husband who live in Hawaii. I was pretty excited to see them and find about how things have been going for them . They have only been living in Hawaii for about a year now, and before that they lived in Oklahoma.
His Aunt Alice and Uncle Larry were there also. They are a couple of the most huggy, loveable people in the world, which can be kind of annoying at times, but is fairly enjoyable most of the time. Mikayla loved having Larry hold her and walk around with her. I'm pretty sure it was because he's a pretty tall guy and she liked the view......hehe
As a matter of fact, Mikayla was pretty much the social butterfly that night. She didn't have a problem being passed around to everyone like we were affraid that she might, considering that most of these people she doesn't see very often. She wanted to be passed around, reaching for other people as they got close, as if to say "you pick me up". She was in a really good mood, only getting a little crabby as the night got late.
We had a really nice dinner with some ham, ribs, potato salad, and rolls. Not a whole lot of variety, but it was really good food so it didn't matter. After we ate, we all sat down in the livingroom where we exchanged gifts. Noah's sister Amy (from Hawaii) played Santa and passed the gifts around. Mikayla wondered around the livingroom, and whoever she was closest to when it was her turn, helped her unwrap the gift. I loved having everyone be so warm and sweet to mikayla, as if she was their own child. Two of the ladies that were there, including Alice, have never been able to have children, so I'm sure that could be one reason why they are so close to her, besides the fact that they are family.
Mikayla got some really cute Winnie the Pooh (not more winnie the pooh......aaaaaahhhhh......lol) and Elmo toys. She got some more clothes and lots of kisses :)
I got a couple of really nice sweaters and a cute renesance (however you spell that) type shirt. I also recieved some really neat stuff to decorate the house with, like a mini wooden bench to sit some stuffed teddy bears on. I'll have to take a picture of it and post it sometime. Noah got some WWII stuff (he's really into world war II), a couple of books about tanks and anti-tank weapons and stuff. He also got some shirts and a couple of really nice dragon figurines. We still haven't decided where to put the dragons, we really don't have any room or any shelves to put them on. They might have to be stored away until we get a house. :(
As the night went on, some of us drank beers and chatted, others ran off in the other room to mess with a computer (not naming any names here....lol), but it went really good. Got to talk to everyone and find out what was going on in their life. Even got Noah's dad to talk a little bit about the Navy.
He was in the Navy during the Vietnam War, but he doesn't talk about it. Noah was surprised when he brought it up. It wasn't like he came out and started going off on all these stories, but he did say a few things. Which, from what I hear, is a lot more than noah has ever heard him say.
We decided to leave around midnight, considering that Mikayla had not been to sleep yet and that we had to get up at 6am to get to my sister Lana's and unwrap gifts. So we packed Mikayla and gifts up, and headed home. The drive usually takes a little under an hour, because we live a little bit of a distance away from his parents house. It's a pretty smooth drive because it's all interstate, about 70mph.
We were probably about 20 minutes away from home when the car started to shake pretty bad. Noah slowed down, and I told him to pull off to the side of the road because it felt like it was a flat tire. As soon as we stopped I hopped out and smelt the burn rubber. Yup, it was a flat tire, on Christmas Eve, at 12:30 in the morning. So the adventure began....lol
Well, it wasn't really that much of an adventure, but it wasn't all bad either. Noah didn't want to bother with changing the tire, considering that we had a membership to AAA that would come out and do it for us. He gave them a call, and they said they would call him back. Within 5 minutes, a police officer pulled up behind us. We got out to tell the officer that we had a flat and that AAA was going to come out and fix it. He told us that he would call someone and that they would get there faster.
The officer stayed behind us the whole time we were on the side of the road. He wanted to make sure that there wasn't any drunk drivers or whoever come along and slam into us. He was really nice, and had someone out to fix the tire in prolly 20 mins from when he first showed up.
The neat thing about the whole event wasn't the blown tire (certainly not), or even the extremely nice police officer. While we were out there waiting for the tow truck guy to come fix the tire, it began to snow. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself, as if God had his own way of telling us Merry Christmas. It was really neat. Just the three of us, Mikayla sleeping, sitting on the side of the road listening to christmas tunes on the radio, waiting for the tire fixer guy to come. It was peaceful, yet crazy, yet calmingly eerie.
The guy showed up and fixed our tire in about 10 mins. The police officer backed up to do what he called 'traffic control'. It looked to me like he backed up and put on his turn signal to make it look like he was going to try and merge back into traffic to get the oncoming cars to move into the other lane. Either way, he was really nice. I wanted to give him a little seal beanie baby as a thank you/christmas gift, and thank him for being out on christmas eve, but he drove away before I had the chance. Whoever he is, I thank him. :)
We didn't get to sleep until around 2:30, so we didn't get up until a little after 7am. I was scared that Lana's boys were already up, because they really wanted to rip into their gifts (well, maybe caleb more than cameron, caleb's been asking about santa and presents for more than a week.....lol). I called her and she reassured me that they weren't awake yet. So we hurried up and got the gifts loaded in the car, and made it up there around a little after 8am. I assumed that they'd want to rip into the gifts as soon as we got there, but caleb seemed to want to take his gifts one at a time. Just opening one and playing with it and then opening another. So I decided that we should make some breakfast. Noah and I brought up some bacon and sausage and other breakfast foods so everyone could eat. Noah and I cooked up breakfast for everyone. JR, my mom, Lana, Keith, and us. The boys didn't eat eggs, so we didn't make anything for them. As a matter of fact, I can't remember them eatting anything all morning.....hmmmmm.......lol
Anywho, we opened gifts all morning long, little by little. Around 10am, my mom decides that she has a gift she wants to give. So she grabs into her purse and pulls out a small black box and small piece of paper with some writting on it. Everyone kinda hushed and looked at each other. I think we all knew what it was, but didn't know what to say. Can you say SURPRIZE!? She turned to JR, who was laying on the couch next to her (because he is recovering from having the kidney taken out), and she began to cry. She stuggled with reading what she had written, and even stopped a few times because of the tears. It was really quite sweet, the things she was saying. Although I am still trying to figure out why she asked him to 'merge' with her, and not 'marry' her. Oh well, we all understood what she meant. She even made a joke about taxes, saying that she might not want to make it legal because the government penalizes married couples (basically they take more of your money). But I don't think that is going to keep her from marrying him. He has stopped drinkin since the initial accident when he fell out of the tree back in October (I think it was october), and my mom has always said that is why she left him. "His stinkin' drinkin'", she used to say. She has been with him everyday since his accident, so I guess it was just a matter of time before they would get back together for good.
Needless to say, we were all blown away by the proposal. Lana and I both have it on camcorder considering we were taping the kids unwrapping gifts. It will make for a very good memory. It's kinda weird really, when kids whose parents get divorced and they want them to get back together. You think that only the young kids feel that way. But I guess I'm kinda happy like one of those kids would be if there parents were getting re-married again. Granted, my mom and JR never got married to begin with, but they were together, we were all together, from when I was a little baby to when I was about 12. So I guess it was like a divorce, without all the legal crap.
To sum it all up, it was an awesome christmas. Mikayla made out like a bandit, Lana's boys had fun (for the most part....lol), and Noah and I gave and got some really cool stuff. Lana got me a ton of web graphics and 35,000 fonts (don't ask me what the hell I'm gonna do with all of them.......lol), and she got Noah a bunch of games he has really been wanting. I'm still tryin to absorb my mom's marriage proposal to JR, but that will come with time. I'm really happy for them. It's about damn time.....lol
I hope you had a really good Christmas too! And to tell you the truth, I can't believe you made it all the way to the end of this entry!
I'll keep ya posted on how the New Year is rung in. Right now it's looking like we'll prolly be spending it with Noah's sister from Hawaii.
Ta Ta For Now!
Warning: This is really long
I have had the most awesome Christmas this year. And it's funny because I didn't really have much of the Christmas spirit until sometime the night of Christmas Eve. This is how it went:
After Noah got off work on Christmas Eve, we headed down to his parents house. His parents have a pretty good sized house, so lots of family comes from out of town and stay there for Christmas. And this year, that also included noah's sister and her husband who live in Hawaii. I was pretty excited to see them and find about how things have been going for them . They have only been living in Hawaii for about a year now, and before that they lived in Oklahoma.
His Aunt Alice and Uncle Larry were there also. They are a couple of the most huggy, loveable people in the world, which can be kind of annoying at times, but is fairly enjoyable most of the time. Mikayla loved having Larry hold her and walk around with her. I'm pretty sure it was because he's a pretty tall guy and she liked the view......hehe
As a matter of fact, Mikayla was pretty much the social butterfly that night. She didn't have a problem being passed around to everyone like we were affraid that she might, considering that most of these people she doesn't see very often. She wanted to be passed around, reaching for other people as they got close, as if to say "you pick me up". She was in a really good mood, only getting a little crabby as the night got late.
We had a really nice dinner with some ham, ribs, potato salad, and rolls. Not a whole lot of variety, but it was really good food so it didn't matter. After we ate, we all sat down in the livingroom where we exchanged gifts. Noah's sister Amy (from Hawaii) played Santa and passed the gifts around. Mikayla wondered around the livingroom, and whoever she was closest to when it was her turn, helped her unwrap the gift. I loved having everyone be so warm and sweet to mikayla, as if she was their own child. Two of the ladies that were there, including Alice, have never been able to have children, so I'm sure that could be one reason why they are so close to her, besides the fact that they are family.
Mikayla got some really cute Winnie the Pooh (not more winnie the pooh......aaaaaahhhhh......lol) and Elmo toys. She got some more clothes and lots of kisses :)
I got a couple of really nice sweaters and a cute renesance (however you spell that) type shirt. I also recieved some really neat stuff to decorate the house with, like a mini wooden bench to sit some stuffed teddy bears on. I'll have to take a picture of it and post it sometime. Noah got some WWII stuff (he's really into world war II), a couple of books about tanks and anti-tank weapons and stuff. He also got some shirts and a couple of really nice dragon figurines. We still haven't decided where to put the dragons, we really don't have any room or any shelves to put them on. They might have to be stored away until we get a house. :(
As the night went on, some of us drank beers and chatted, others ran off in the other room to mess with a computer (not naming any names here....lol), but it went really good. Got to talk to everyone and find out what was going on in their life. Even got Noah's dad to talk a little bit about the Navy.
He was in the Navy during the Vietnam War, but he doesn't talk about it. Noah was surprised when he brought it up. It wasn't like he came out and started going off on all these stories, but he did say a few things. Which, from what I hear, is a lot more than noah has ever heard him say.
We decided to leave around midnight, considering that Mikayla had not been to sleep yet and that we had to get up at 6am to get to my sister Lana's and unwrap gifts. So we packed Mikayla and gifts up, and headed home. The drive usually takes a little under an hour, because we live a little bit of a distance away from his parents house. It's a pretty smooth drive because it's all interstate, about 70mph.
We were probably about 20 minutes away from home when the car started to shake pretty bad. Noah slowed down, and I told him to pull off to the side of the road because it felt like it was a flat tire. As soon as we stopped I hopped out and smelt the burn rubber. Yup, it was a flat tire, on Christmas Eve, at 12:30 in the morning. So the adventure began....lol
Well, it wasn't really that much of an adventure, but it wasn't all bad either. Noah didn't want to bother with changing the tire, considering that we had a membership to AAA that would come out and do it for us. He gave them a call, and they said they would call him back. Within 5 minutes, a police officer pulled up behind us. We got out to tell the officer that we had a flat and that AAA was going to come out and fix it. He told us that he would call someone and that they would get there faster.
The officer stayed behind us the whole time we were on the side of the road. He wanted to make sure that there wasn't any drunk drivers or whoever come along and slam into us. He was really nice, and had someone out to fix the tire in prolly 20 mins from when he first showed up.
The neat thing about the whole event wasn't the blown tire (certainly not), or even the extremely nice police officer. While we were out there waiting for the tow truck guy to come fix the tire, it began to snow. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself, as if God had his own way of telling us Merry Christmas. It was really neat. Just the three of us, Mikayla sleeping, sitting on the side of the road listening to christmas tunes on the radio, waiting for the tire fixer guy to come. It was peaceful, yet crazy, yet calmingly eerie.
The guy showed up and fixed our tire in about 10 mins. The police officer backed up to do what he called 'traffic control'. It looked to me like he backed up and put on his turn signal to make it look like he was going to try and merge back into traffic to get the oncoming cars to move into the other lane. Either way, he was really nice. I wanted to give him a little seal beanie baby as a thank you/christmas gift, and thank him for being out on christmas eve, but he drove away before I had the chance. Whoever he is, I thank him. :)
We didn't get to sleep until around 2:30, so we didn't get up until a little after 7am. I was scared that Lana's boys were already up, because they really wanted to rip into their gifts (well, maybe caleb more than cameron, caleb's been asking about santa and presents for more than a week.....lol). I called her and she reassured me that they weren't awake yet. So we hurried up and got the gifts loaded in the car, and made it up there around a little after 8am. I assumed that they'd want to rip into the gifts as soon as we got there, but caleb seemed to want to take his gifts one at a time. Just opening one and playing with it and then opening another. So I decided that we should make some breakfast. Noah and I brought up some bacon and sausage and other breakfast foods so everyone could eat. Noah and I cooked up breakfast for everyone. JR, my mom, Lana, Keith, and us. The boys didn't eat eggs, so we didn't make anything for them. As a matter of fact, I can't remember them eatting anything all morning.....hmmmmm.......lol
Anywho, we opened gifts all morning long, little by little. Around 10am, my mom decides that she has a gift she wants to give. So she grabs into her purse and pulls out a small black box and small piece of paper with some writting on it. Everyone kinda hushed and looked at each other. I think we all knew what it was, but didn't know what to say. Can you say SURPRIZE!? She turned to JR, who was laying on the couch next to her (because he is recovering from having the kidney taken out), and she began to cry. She stuggled with reading what she had written, and even stopped a few times because of the tears. It was really quite sweet, the things she was saying. Although I am still trying to figure out why she asked him to 'merge' with her, and not 'marry' her. Oh well, we all understood what she meant. She even made a joke about taxes, saying that she might not want to make it legal because the government penalizes married couples (basically they take more of your money). But I don't think that is going to keep her from marrying him. He has stopped drinkin since the initial accident when he fell out of the tree back in October (I think it was october), and my mom has always said that is why she left him. "His stinkin' drinkin'", she used to say. She has been with him everyday since his accident, so I guess it was just a matter of time before they would get back together for good.
Needless to say, we were all blown away by the proposal. Lana and I both have it on camcorder considering we were taping the kids unwrapping gifts. It will make for a very good memory. It's kinda weird really, when kids whose parents get divorced and they want them to get back together. You think that only the young kids feel that way. But I guess I'm kinda happy like one of those kids would be if there parents were getting re-married again. Granted, my mom and JR never got married to begin with, but they were together, we were all together, from when I was a little baby to when I was about 12. So I guess it was like a divorce, without all the legal crap.
To sum it all up, it was an awesome christmas. Mikayla made out like a bandit, Lana's boys had fun (for the most part....lol), and Noah and I gave and got some really cool stuff. Lana got me a ton of web graphics and 35,000 fonts (don't ask me what the hell I'm gonna do with all of them.......lol), and she got Noah a bunch of games he has really been wanting. I'm still tryin to absorb my mom's marriage proposal to JR, but that will come with time. I'm really happy for them. It's about damn time.....lol
I hope you had a really good Christmas too! And to tell you the truth, I can't believe you made it all the way to the end of this entry!
I'll keep ya posted on how the New Year is rung in. Right now it's looking like we'll prolly be spending it with Noah's sister from Hawaii.
Ta Ta For Now!
Wednesday, December 25, 2002
Tuesday, December 24, 2002
Just an Ordinary Day
It's supposed to be Christmas Eve, but it certainly doesn't feel like it. When I got online to talk to my husband through icq, like I do everyday, he proceeded to tell me about how the people that he works for continues to treat him like shit. His boss decided that Christmas Eve was a good day to tell him that everyone is complaining about him.
He works as a computer guy for the judicial department in our state. He is responsible for 13 counties in Iowa, and that means 13 different courthouses strung about 200 miles in diameter slightly north of where we live. Thats a lot to fix, and lot to keep computers running, and certainly alot of driving. I guess he's getting complaints because he can't fix things in 5 minutes like people want him to, not to mention the fact that he can't teleport there. They say he's not 'very customer service oriented', which basically means he's not a fake, happy, smiling, give you everything thing you want at the exact time you want it, kind of person. I know my husband does everything he can do to keep things working. He is very smart, and very good at his job. But one thing he isn't is the bubbly computer guy traul-uping around with a magic wand granting wishes and making joy. He does his job, he's nice about it, he's not an asshole in anyway, but he's not going to try and sell you on any 'this is a beautiful world' crap. And it seems like thats what everyone wants.
The next complaint that he has been getting is about his apperance. He has long hair and a beard. He even had one judge (who we're sure is one of the complainers), make fun of him, calling him Jesus Chris Superstar. Ha Ha, very funny. Well, it was kinda funny when Noah told me about it, but it really bugged him. He goes to work and it's okay for people to make fun of him? And he's the one getting in trouble??
Noah has even had a complaint about someone seeing his skin when his shirt fell above his belt line while he was under a desk trying to reach some cords. Can you believe that?? That's the most retarded complaint I have ever heard. What's he supposed to do? Glue his shirt to his ass? Atleast he wasn't showing off his buttcrack. Although with all the complaints he's been getting, I almost wish he would have, just to make some of these complaints a little more legitemate.
It's really retarded. Noah does his job, quite well as a matter of fact. And what gives these people the right to put his job (and his family) in jeparody just because there is one thing that irritated them. Do they not have enough backbone to say "hey, can you try to do this a little better", or "this bugs me", or whatever. Talk to him about it. All these things are really minor things. He didn't get a pc installed the day after it was ordered, his hair is a little longer than they like, they don't think he smiles enough, he needs to get a tan. What the fuck ever, get over it. The world doesn't revolve around you stupid people with nothing better to do than to complain. They just love the power of being able to go to his boss and force him to conform to the way they want him. I'm so sick of these people.
And next to that, I'm pissed off at his boss for thinking that Christmas Eve was the best time in the world to tell my husband, "hey, everybody thinks your shit, Merry Christmas". Oh, thats nice. I really wish we had the money to tell all these people to fuck off!
We spent $20 on the lottery, the jackpot is 300 million! I hope we win! If we do, I'm going to personally tell everyone of the people that complained about them that they are a spineless rat, who is so pathetic they have to resort to trying to destroy other peoples lives to try and make their's better.
It's supposed to be Christmas Eve, but it certainly doesn't feel like it. When I got online to talk to my husband through icq, like I do everyday, he proceeded to tell me about how the people that he works for continues to treat him like shit. His boss decided that Christmas Eve was a good day to tell him that everyone is complaining about him.
He works as a computer guy for the judicial department in our state. He is responsible for 13 counties in Iowa, and that means 13 different courthouses strung about 200 miles in diameter slightly north of where we live. Thats a lot to fix, and lot to keep computers running, and certainly alot of driving. I guess he's getting complaints because he can't fix things in 5 minutes like people want him to, not to mention the fact that he can't teleport there. They say he's not 'very customer service oriented', which basically means he's not a fake, happy, smiling, give you everything thing you want at the exact time you want it, kind of person. I know my husband does everything he can do to keep things working. He is very smart, and very good at his job. But one thing he isn't is the bubbly computer guy traul-uping around with a magic wand granting wishes and making joy. He does his job, he's nice about it, he's not an asshole in anyway, but he's not going to try and sell you on any 'this is a beautiful world' crap. And it seems like thats what everyone wants.
The next complaint that he has been getting is about his apperance. He has long hair and a beard. He even had one judge (who we're sure is one of the complainers), make fun of him, calling him Jesus Chris Superstar. Ha Ha, very funny. Well, it was kinda funny when Noah told me about it, but it really bugged him. He goes to work and it's okay for people to make fun of him? And he's the one getting in trouble??
Noah has even had a complaint about someone seeing his skin when his shirt fell above his belt line while he was under a desk trying to reach some cords. Can you believe that?? That's the most retarded complaint I have ever heard. What's he supposed to do? Glue his shirt to his ass? Atleast he wasn't showing off his buttcrack. Although with all the complaints he's been getting, I almost wish he would have, just to make some of these complaints a little more legitemate.
It's really retarded. Noah does his job, quite well as a matter of fact. And what gives these people the right to put his job (and his family) in jeparody just because there is one thing that irritated them. Do they not have enough backbone to say "hey, can you try to do this a little better", or "this bugs me", or whatever. Talk to him about it. All these things are really minor things. He didn't get a pc installed the day after it was ordered, his hair is a little longer than they like, they don't think he smiles enough, he needs to get a tan. What the fuck ever, get over it. The world doesn't revolve around you stupid people with nothing better to do than to complain. They just love the power of being able to go to his boss and force him to conform to the way they want him. I'm so sick of these people.
And next to that, I'm pissed off at his boss for thinking that Christmas Eve was the best time in the world to tell my husband, "hey, everybody thinks your shit, Merry Christmas". Oh, thats nice. I really wish we had the money to tell all these people to fuck off!
We spent $20 on the lottery, the jackpot is 300 million! I hope we win! If we do, I'm going to personally tell everyone of the people that complained about them that they are a spineless rat, who is so pathetic they have to resort to trying to destroy other peoples lives to try and make their's better.
Coffee, Tea, or Should We Feel Your Pregnant Wife’s Breasts Before Throwing You in a Cell at the Airport and Then Lying About Why We Put You There? by Nicholas Monahan
I'm getting a little tired of all the 'security' the government keeps giving us.
I'm getting a little tired of all the 'security' the government keeps giving us.
Monday, December 23, 2002
I'm going to go over to Noah's mom's house today and make christmas cookies and stuff with her. His sister is in town from Hawaii for christmas, and she's gonna be there too. These people are just too happy for me sometimes. I'm sure it will be fun, but I'm also sure I'm going to come home wanting to get drunk......lol
Friday, December 20, 2002
Mating Calls
This is what my husband and I talk about over the internet while he's at work. Very intelligent conversation:
Lindsey: daddy, miki is throwing another fit again
CivGod: why?
Lindsey: I don't think I can handle her, your gonna have to come home and spank mommy
CivGod: LOL
CivGod: *grin*
Lindsey: *chuckle*
CivGod: *oogling*
Lindsey: *snorking*
CivGod: *farking*
Lindsey: *piggling*
CivGod: *wip-dip-doubling*
Lindsey: *scrappy-smarphicing*
CivGod: *mcbarflypuking*
Lindsey: ZLOL
CivGod: hehe
Lindsey: *crappidoddling*
CivGod: *dadlysmoggling*
Lindsey: *iggloogleshna*
CivGod: *pathootinggobble*
Lindsey: *tazmokingdope*
Lindsey: *stripplehappy*
CivGod: *yakizsmoochie*
Lindsey: *smoocheyakfoo*
CivGod: *bangoweevle*
Lindsey: *weevweevbangya*
CivGod: *nukhavenwoogle*
CivGod: LOL
Lindsey: ;P
Intelligence at it's best.
This is what my husband and I talk about over the internet while he's at work. Very intelligent conversation:
Lindsey: daddy, miki is throwing another fit again
CivGod: why?
Lindsey: I don't think I can handle her, your gonna have to come home and spank mommy
CivGod: LOL
CivGod: *grin*
Lindsey: *chuckle*
CivGod: *oogling*
Lindsey: *snorking*
CivGod: *farking*
Lindsey: *piggling*
CivGod: *wip-dip-doubling*
Lindsey: *scrappy-smarphicing*
CivGod: *mcbarflypuking*
Lindsey: ZLOL
CivGod: hehe
Lindsey: *crappidoddling*
CivGod: *dadlysmoggling*
Lindsey: *iggloogleshna*
CivGod: *pathootinggobble*
Lindsey: *tazmokingdope*
Lindsey: *stripplehappy*
CivGod: *yakizsmoochie*
Lindsey: *smoocheyakfoo*
CivGod: *bangoweevle*
Lindsey: *weevweevbangya*
CivGod: *nukhavenwoogle*
CivGod: LOL
Lindsey: ;P
Intelligence at it's best.
Ungrateful
I've been talking to Sheila tonight.
Havent' talked to her in a while.
Mostly because of the little dispute I had with him (her current boyfriend) a few months ago.
I miss my sister tonight, and I told her that. He controls her beyond realism.
I wish he didn't control her dreams, her beauty.
I've been talking to Sheila tonight.
Havent' talked to her in a while.
Mostly because of the little dispute I had with him (her current boyfriend) a few months ago.
I miss my sister tonight, and I told her that. He controls her beyond realism.
I wish he didn't control her dreams, her beauty.
Thursday, December 19, 2002
The Saga Continues...
After I hung up on my mom, she sent me an instant message.......this is the WHOLE conversation:
Mom: are you tere/
Mom: i need you to pay for te bear in te bi blue ouse and set of 4 ideos
Me: make Lana do it, this heartless bitch is busy
Me: that was an extremely unfair comment you made
Mom signed off at 8:33:34 PM
Her keyboard is messed up with cat puke, thats why she can't type. Didn't even bother to apologize or anything. Loving, isn't she?
After I hung up on my mom, she sent me an instant message.......this is the WHOLE conversation:
Mom: are you tere/
Mom: i need you to pay for te bear in te bi blue ouse and set of 4 ideos
Me: make Lana do it, this heartless bitch is busy
Me: that was an extremely unfair comment you made
Mom signed off at 8:33:34 PM
Her keyboard is messed up with cat puke, thats why she can't type. Didn't even bother to apologize or anything. Loving, isn't she?
Gee, Wonderful Support
My mom called me tonight to help her out because her cat threw up on the keyboard of her laptop, and she needed to pay for some ebay stuff. So I got online to go where ever she needed me to go. She must have found out from my sister that I took Dallas to the animal shelter, and she asks me why I did it. I told her because he attacked Mikayla. Then she asked me why I didn't just give Dallas to her. I told her it was because she lets her cats outside (not to mention the fact that she already has 8!), and that Dallas has no front claws. He wouldn't be able to protect himself from other cats if he was attacked, and it would be cruel to let him be mauled and not be able to protect himself. So, she goes on to tell me how heartless I am for taking him to the animal shelter......blah blah blah.
She must not realize that I didn't want to take him in the first place, but I had to. I had no choice. No fuckin choice whatsoever! If he hurt my daughter, she would freak out on me and tell me that I was a horrible mother. She would much rather him get tortured and not be able to take care of himself then to go somewhere that he might have a chance with a new family (without children), or a painless death. I dont' want him to die, but I dont' want him to suffer in numerous cat fights.
If he went to her house, with all her fucking cats, they would hurt him so bad. They all have claws, Dallas DOES NOT! AND SHE THINKS I'M FUCKING HEARTLESS. FUCK HER!! She pisses me the fuck off!
Sorry for all the language, but fuck her fuck her, fuck her!
It's hard enough for me as it is to have to get rid of one of my pets. I was very close to him, I loved the shit right out of him. Does she not understand that?? Does she not give a shit how hard this is for me that she has to make it worse??
Like I said.......fuck her!
My mom called me tonight to help her out because her cat threw up on the keyboard of her laptop, and she needed to pay for some ebay stuff. So I got online to go where ever she needed me to go. She must have found out from my sister that I took Dallas to the animal shelter, and she asks me why I did it. I told her because he attacked Mikayla. Then she asked me why I didn't just give Dallas to her. I told her it was because she lets her cats outside (not to mention the fact that she already has 8!), and that Dallas has no front claws. He wouldn't be able to protect himself from other cats if he was attacked, and it would be cruel to let him be mauled and not be able to protect himself. So, she goes on to tell me how heartless I am for taking him to the animal shelter......blah blah blah.
She must not realize that I didn't want to take him in the first place, but I had to. I had no choice. No fuckin choice whatsoever! If he hurt my daughter, she would freak out on me and tell me that I was a horrible mother. She would much rather him get tortured and not be able to take care of himself then to go somewhere that he might have a chance with a new family (without children), or a painless death. I dont' want him to die, but I dont' want him to suffer in numerous cat fights.
If he went to her house, with all her fucking cats, they would hurt him so bad. They all have claws, Dallas DOES NOT! AND SHE THINKS I'M FUCKING HEARTLESS. FUCK HER!! She pisses me the fuck off!
Sorry for all the language, but fuck her fuck her, fuck her!
It's hard enough for me as it is to have to get rid of one of my pets. I was very close to him, I loved the shit right out of him. Does she not understand that?? Does she not give a shit how hard this is for me that she has to make it worse??
Like I said.......fuck her!
Dallas is Gone
Dallas is our large fuzzy orange kitty. We had to give him back to the animal shelter where we got him from because he has attacked Mikayla 3 times. He never attacked her just to be mean, he was just being playful, but that doesn't take away from the fact that he has left scratches and bite marks on her head. At anyone of those times he could have damaged her eye, or gave her scars for the rest of her life.
I have 3 scars on my face from being attacked by a cat when I was a baby. I don't remember being attacked, I was too young, but I will always have the scars. We just didn't think it was a good idea to keep a cat that could be a danger to our daughter. It does make me sad that we have to get rid of him. He will probably be put to sleep, unless someone without children adopts him. We have another cat, his name is Rio. He's a little grey runt, and he's not a danger to her. He doesn't attack at all. As soon as Noah walked out the door with Dallas in the carrier, Rio came up to me whining. I think he knows whats going on. He will miss Dallas, considering he was just a kitten when he came to live with us, and Dallas was here before him. He has grown up with Dallas, and now Dallas is gone. I feel cold, I don't want him to die. But I can't have him hurting my daughter. I'm sorry Dallas.
Dallas is our large fuzzy orange kitty. We had to give him back to the animal shelter where we got him from because he has attacked Mikayla 3 times. He never attacked her just to be mean, he was just being playful, but that doesn't take away from the fact that he has left scratches and bite marks on her head. At anyone of those times he could have damaged her eye, or gave her scars for the rest of her life.
I have 3 scars on my face from being attacked by a cat when I was a baby. I don't remember being attacked, I was too young, but I will always have the scars. We just didn't think it was a good idea to keep a cat that could be a danger to our daughter. It does make me sad that we have to get rid of him. He will probably be put to sleep, unless someone without children adopts him. We have another cat, his name is Rio. He's a little grey runt, and he's not a danger to her. He doesn't attack at all. As soon as Noah walked out the door with Dallas in the carrier, Rio came up to me whining. I think he knows whats going on. He will miss Dallas, considering he was just a kitten when he came to live with us, and Dallas was here before him. He has grown up with Dallas, and now Dallas is gone. I feel cold, I don't want him to die. But I can't have him hurting my daughter. I'm sorry Dallas.
It Doesn't Feel Alot Like Christmas
It just doesn't feel like Christmas this year. I'm guessing it's all the warm weather. We haven't put up a tree this year, we probably won't. The only tree we have is the fake, anorexic christmas tree we bought from wal-mart last year. We were so ghetto last year we used twist ties to hold the ornaments on the tree. We didn't care, mikayla was only a month old. This year, she would probably get the most enjoyment out of eatting the ornaments. We arn't going to be opening gifts here anyways, so the tree would just be a pain in the ass.
We have been driving around checking out everyone else's christmas lights alot this year. Seems the people in the high priced areas of town are going all out. I'm sure the electric company is enjoying the business, not to mention the wal-mart christmas department. We'll just enjoy at everyone else's expense this year. We can't afford a $300 electric bill.
It just doesn't feel like Christmas this year. I'm guessing it's all the warm weather. We haven't put up a tree this year, we probably won't. The only tree we have is the fake, anorexic christmas tree we bought from wal-mart last year. We were so ghetto last year we used twist ties to hold the ornaments on the tree. We didn't care, mikayla was only a month old. This year, she would probably get the most enjoyment out of eatting the ornaments. We arn't going to be opening gifts here anyways, so the tree would just be a pain in the ass.
We have been driving around checking out everyone else's christmas lights alot this year. Seems the people in the high priced areas of town are going all out. I'm sure the electric company is enjoying the business, not to mention the wal-mart christmas department. We'll just enjoy at everyone else's expense this year. We can't afford a $300 electric bill.
Tuesday, December 17, 2002
Another actor is tryin to save the world
Would someone please explain to me why I should believe Sean Penn over the United Nations?? hmmmmmm
Link courtesy of A Small Victory
Would someone please explain to me why I should believe Sean Penn over the United Nations?? hmmmmmm
Link courtesy of A Small Victory
Monday, December 16, 2002
Old Stuff
This is something I wrote when I was 16 years old. I had just spent one week in detox at a local hospital, and was supposed to go three times a week for out-patient treatment. I went for one day, and then I went on the run. This is what I wrote after my first 'fix' while on the run. I was in the back bedroom of an abandoned apartment, my only possesion being my notebook.
-7/7/97-
I have become good at a lot of things; fucking up, coning people out of money, drugs, or whatever I want from them. and disappearing. The drugs make it so fucking easy to forget the important things in my life, like my family (sister, Keith, etc.) and the few good friends I actually had. I say had because they really don't want to be fucked over anymore by me since I have become a junkie. And that’s what I am, a fucking lying, stealing, heartless drug addict junkie. I'm sorry for what I've done, I do have some kind of heart left. Maybe a little distorted, but it's functioning some what.
I don't blame them for giving up on me. Hell, I gave up on me a long time ago. What majorly hurts though, is that I know I'm actually all alone. They aren’t going to be there anymore. Not to listen or give advice and tell me what I'm doing wrong (even though they told me a thousand times and I still didn't listen). No more support whether it be mentally or financially. And most of all, no more love. No tears nor laughter, smiles, jokes, conversations, you name it, it's gone. All because my fucked up mind thinks that it needs drugs to survive. I know that I'm really majorly addicted when I can't stay clean through two whole months of treatment, even though I realize it's something I need.
Why am I such a fucked up, low life, self centered, greedy junkie? At what point did I lose all perception of reality and responsibility to become what I am now? I can't turn back either. They gave me one chance to prove I could do it. Everyone supported me on the good thing, staying sober, getting a job & car, etc. I felt so much love and acceptance, something I missed so very much. But I threw it all away. For the needle I have lost my family, my ability to be trusted and helped out by those that really did give a fuck about me. And to top it all off, I have to hide out from everyone now. I can't call or visit my sister or Keith without them locking me up in some treatment facility somewhere at least 100 or so miles away.
And I think I'm alone now?! HA! Everyone would forget about me, if I got sent away for at least two months and wasn't able to at least call. What use would I be to anyone? Even if I went through with it, I would be more alone when I got out. I'd hate my life so much and probably want to die so bad that I would actually do it. But I don't want to die. Life may not be perfect, but that’s no reason to end it. I feel so lost and lonely. At least for right now I can actually live, maybe not totally happy, but free. If they take the few things I have left in this world, I will want to end it. Please don't let it happen.
----------------------------------------
This is something I wrote when I was 16 years old. I had just spent one week in detox at a local hospital, and was supposed to go three times a week for out-patient treatment. I went for one day, and then I went on the run. This is what I wrote after my first 'fix' while on the run. I was in the back bedroom of an abandoned apartment, my only possesion being my notebook.
-7/7/97-
I have become good at a lot of things; fucking up, coning people out of money, drugs, or whatever I want from them. and disappearing. The drugs make it so fucking easy to forget the important things in my life, like my family (sister, Keith, etc.) and the few good friends I actually had. I say had because they really don't want to be fucked over anymore by me since I have become a junkie. And that’s what I am, a fucking lying, stealing, heartless drug addict junkie. I'm sorry for what I've done, I do have some kind of heart left. Maybe a little distorted, but it's functioning some what.
I don't blame them for giving up on me. Hell, I gave up on me a long time ago. What majorly hurts though, is that I know I'm actually all alone. They aren’t going to be there anymore. Not to listen or give advice and tell me what I'm doing wrong (even though they told me a thousand times and I still didn't listen). No more support whether it be mentally or financially. And most of all, no more love. No tears nor laughter, smiles, jokes, conversations, you name it, it's gone. All because my fucked up mind thinks that it needs drugs to survive. I know that I'm really majorly addicted when I can't stay clean through two whole months of treatment, even though I realize it's something I need.
Why am I such a fucked up, low life, self centered, greedy junkie? At what point did I lose all perception of reality and responsibility to become what I am now? I can't turn back either. They gave me one chance to prove I could do it. Everyone supported me on the good thing, staying sober, getting a job & car, etc. I felt so much love and acceptance, something I missed so very much. But I threw it all away. For the needle I have lost my family, my ability to be trusted and helped out by those that really did give a fuck about me. And to top it all off, I have to hide out from everyone now. I can't call or visit my sister or Keith without them locking me up in some treatment facility somewhere at least 100 or so miles away.
And I think I'm alone now?! HA! Everyone would forget about me, if I got sent away for at least two months and wasn't able to at least call. What use would I be to anyone? Even if I went through with it, I would be more alone when I got out. I'd hate my life so much and probably want to die so bad that I would actually do it. But I don't want to die. Life may not be perfect, but that’s no reason to end it. I feel so lost and lonely. At least for right now I can actually live, maybe not totally happy, but free. If they take the few things I have left in this world, I will want to end it. Please don't let it happen.
----------------------------------------
Saturday, December 14, 2002
Please Tell Me What You Think!!
So this is it, my great design. Oh, with the help of a css from Glish.com of course. But hey, I'm working on understanding cascading style sheets better. This has been considerably tweeked from the css it came from. I am proud of myself.
What I do want to know is, what do you not like about it? Or what do you like about it? Or do you not even care? lol
I know it doesn't size to screen well in anything less then 1027x768......basically, if you are viewing this at a 600x800 resolution, the right border goes to the bottom.
And another thing, does the colors hurt your eyes? I like 'em. But of course after spending a few hours starring at this computer tryin to make all this work, my head is getting a little dizzy, so my judgement isn't quite right. Let me know. I'm open to comments.
Thanks!
So this is it, my great design. Oh, with the help of a css from Glish.com of course. But hey, I'm working on understanding cascading style sheets better. This has been considerably tweeked from the css it came from. I am proud of myself.
What I do want to know is, what do you not like about it? Or what do you like about it? Or do you not even care? lol
I know it doesn't size to screen well in anything less then 1027x768......basically, if you are viewing this at a 600x800 resolution, the right border goes to the bottom.
And another thing, does the colors hurt your eyes? I like 'em. But of course after spending a few hours starring at this computer tryin to make all this work, my head is getting a little dizzy, so my judgement isn't quite right. Let me know. I'm open to comments.
Thanks!
New Puter!!!
We finally got the new computer working, and here I am. Not like you can tell the difference, but I sure can. Going from a 650mhz to a 1.8mhz is a BIG difference! Everything runs really smoothly. The only thing I hate is this keyboard. I think midgets designed the arrow keys, they are tiny and squished together. It's gonna make it hard to play astroids with. Anywho, I'm gonna work on the new face for my blog on Monday. I have the details all mapped out, now it's just trying to get the blogger mumbo jumbo to work with my mumbo jumbo. I did the template myself :)
I'm so proud of myself. I guess I shouldn't get too much on my high horse, it isn't up yet.....lol
Noah still has his computer, it's across the livingroom from we. We are hooked together using a wireless router, which was (and still is) a giant pain in the ass. But it keeps us hooked so we can play games and be on the internet at the same time. Pretty cool, we don't have to fight over the computer anymore. Yeah, I know, we are computer addicts, what can I say. He's into the games, I'm into the web, just your typical modern day (obese) happy couple......lol
We finally got the new computer working, and here I am. Not like you can tell the difference, but I sure can. Going from a 650mhz to a 1.8mhz is a BIG difference! Everything runs really smoothly. The only thing I hate is this keyboard. I think midgets designed the arrow keys, they are tiny and squished together. It's gonna make it hard to play astroids with. Anywho, I'm gonna work on the new face for my blog on Monday. I have the details all mapped out, now it's just trying to get the blogger mumbo jumbo to work with my mumbo jumbo. I did the template myself :)
I'm so proud of myself. I guess I shouldn't get too much on my high horse, it isn't up yet.....lol
Noah still has his computer, it's across the livingroom from we. We are hooked together using a wireless router, which was (and still is) a giant pain in the ass. But it keeps us hooked so we can play games and be on the internet at the same time. Pretty cool, we don't have to fight over the computer anymore. Yeah, I know, we are computer addicts, what can I say. He's into the games, I'm into the web, just your typical modern day (obese) happy couple......lol
Friday, December 13, 2002
Starting to Feel Better
I'm beginning to feel a little better. My throat still hurts, and I'm still talking funny, but it's not as hard to swallow. I feel like I have a scab on my throat. Icky. I'm afraid if I swallow too much I might 'pick' the scab off and it'll get worse. I hate sore throats, but not as much as I hate doctors who tell you "it's just your sinus' draining down your throat causing the pain". Yeah, that may be true if I have severely toxic sinus drainage that is burning sores in my throat. That might explain the blood I was spitting up. Okay okay, I'll quit. I know it's gross. But thats what I've had to deal with the past few days. Not fun. Hopefully I'll be good as new by Monday. I'm not doing anything this weekend.
Good News
I'm getting a new PC today!! Noah ordered all the parts last weekend and they should be arriving today. Noah wants me off his computer, so he bought me my own.....hehe
We bought the case at Compusa. It's really cool, mostly black with a silver front and a 3part window on one side with a fan in the middle. It also came with a 350 watt power supply. Noah is building it part by part, so here are the other parts:
Processor: AMD Athlon 1800+
Motherboard:Gigabyte GA-7VTXE DDR
Ram: 256 MB DDR 2100
Hard Drive: Seagate Barracuda 80 GB
Video Card: ATI Radeon 7500 64MB
52X CD-Rom Drive
Monitor: KDS 17" X-Treme Flat
Pretty cool, eh? Noah keeps whining cause he got me a better video card than he has. I told him we could switch, he's the one that plays all the games, but he's like "no no, I got it for you". Okay, I'll take it! On Monday I'll prolly work on making a new site for this blog to go along with my new computer!! It'll be fun!
I'm beginning to feel a little better. My throat still hurts, and I'm still talking funny, but it's not as hard to swallow. I feel like I have a scab on my throat. Icky. I'm afraid if I swallow too much I might 'pick' the scab off and it'll get worse. I hate sore throats, but not as much as I hate doctors who tell you "it's just your sinus' draining down your throat causing the pain". Yeah, that may be true if I have severely toxic sinus drainage that is burning sores in my throat. That might explain the blood I was spitting up. Okay okay, I'll quit. I know it's gross. But thats what I've had to deal with the past few days. Not fun. Hopefully I'll be good as new by Monday. I'm not doing anything this weekend.
Good News
I'm getting a new PC today!! Noah ordered all the parts last weekend and they should be arriving today. Noah wants me off his computer, so he bought me my own.....hehe
We bought the case at Compusa. It's really cool, mostly black with a silver front and a 3part window on one side with a fan in the middle. It also came with a 350 watt power supply. Noah is building it part by part, so here are the other parts:
Processor: AMD Athlon 1800+
Motherboard:Gigabyte GA-7VTXE DDR
Ram: 256 MB DDR 2100
Hard Drive: Seagate Barracuda 80 GB
Video Card: ATI Radeon 7500 64MB
52X CD-Rom Drive
Monitor: KDS 17" X-Treme Flat
Pretty cool, eh? Noah keeps whining cause he got me a better video card than he has. I told him we could switch, he's the one that plays all the games, but he's like "no no, I got it for you". Okay, I'll take it! On Monday I'll prolly work on making a new site for this blog to go along with my new computer!! It'll be fun!
Wednesday, December 11, 2002
Headed to the Doctor
I think I might have tonsillitis. It's extremely hard to swallow, I have an earache on the same side of my throat that hurts. I had a fever yesterday, but that broke sometime last night. Got an appointment at 9am, we'll see what the doc says. Prolly will just tell me to rest and get plenty of fluids. Doctors always tell you the darnedest things.
I think I might have tonsillitis. It's extremely hard to swallow, I have an earache on the same side of my throat that hurts. I had a fever yesterday, but that broke sometime last night. Got an appointment at 9am, we'll see what the doc says. Prolly will just tell me to rest and get plenty of fluids. Doctors always tell you the darnedest things.
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
Monday, December 09, 2002
A Public Service Announcement
I have recently noticed the high outbreak of bobbleheads on the market. Everything from Tiny Tim, to the Osbournes, to Jesus.
You can even create your own bobblehead for $500.00.
We Must Stop The Madness!!
This merchandise is spreading like wildfire. We all must begin practicing safe shopping, or we will all be invaded by bobbleheads. Please do your part.
This public service announcement has been brought to you by the makers of Ferby
I have recently noticed the high outbreak of bobbleheads on the market. Everything from Tiny Tim, to the Osbournes, to Jesus.
You can even create your own bobblehead for $500.00.
We Must Stop The Madness!!
This merchandise is spreading like wildfire. We all must begin practicing safe shopping, or we will all be invaded by bobbleheads. Please do your part.
This public service announcement has been brought to you by the makers of Ferby
Saturday, December 07, 2002
Cute Breed
No one in their right mind gets up this early on a Saturday morning. Except of course, mikayla. She doesn't like to miss her morning cartoons. I will retrain this girl to sleep in someday soon. I guess it makes it a little better when I get to see her dance and wiggle to the 'Bear in the Big Blue House' tune. She's such a cute dancer. At only one year old she's got her favorite cartoons and she likes to dance to the themes. Before long, she's gonna be singing them. I can't believe she's growing up this fast. Don't worry, I'm not gonna try and slow it down, but that doesn't mean it isn't something that will be missed. I still wish sometimes that she was that little ball of goo that I could just cuddle and hold. And that wouldn't protest or try and wiggle away because she hasn't pushed all the buttons on the Elmo sleepytime book quite enough times yet. "Elmo's not sleepy, Elmo's not sleepy, Elmo's not sleepy, Elmo's not sleepy........over and over and over. Yes, now I miss the goo. I used to rub the top of her head with the bottom of my chin, kind of nuzzling her. I remember I used to get pimples on my face from it, but I loved to do it. She has always been my beautiful baby girl.
It's funny. I remember I used to beg my mom for a kitten. I always wanted a new kitten. They were so cute, and little, and fuzzy. I just loved kittens. But I didn't have a whole lot of interest in the 4 grown cats we already had (if you think 4 is alot, my mom has 8 now). I just wanted kittens, and lots of them. Lovable, cute, cuddley little kittens, and I never wanted them to grow up. They were all just soooo cute. I would have fed them cocaine and lighter fluid if someone had told me that it would make them stay little forever. I would get mad that they grew up, and beg my mom for another kitten.
Well, mikayla is starting to grow up. No, she's not 20, she's just 1, but she's not that cute and cuddley little mush of goo that used to sleep in my arms for hours. I miss that so much. I'm thinking about trading her in for a new model. Maybe one with more hair.
LOL
Okay, I'm just kidding! She's just turning into a severe rugrat and I'm trying to make lite of the situation. My cute little, cry only when she needs something, never fight sleep, well mannered, smile all the time, little limp needy lump of happyness, has discovered that even mommy has buttons she can push. And those ones are really fun. They don't make pretty music, or shine bright flashy lights, they do something better. They make mommy run around grabbing toys and putting her in the center of a toy prison, trying to stop the insanity. They make mommy barricade the livingroom with anything she can find, boxes, sheets, clothes baskets, anything big and easily movable. They make mommy wonder why the hell she telling daddy that she wants to have more kids.
Now back to the kittens, I think it's natures way of screwing us over. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter, and I don't regret her in anyway. But she didn't come with a warning label that read, "Will work to do everything to piss you off and I will never understand the word, 'no'". I think if his sperm stopped and said "Warning, will cause severe anguish, headaches, grinding teeth, bad eatting habits, arguements, broken sentimental and high ticket items, money loss, less free time, lost sleep, stains, discharge from every orphis, and hard core guilt trips", I might have thought twice about the whole thing.
Although, she is still really cute when she's in that half dazed stare, watching the tv, in severe need of a nap. I still wish she would cuddle up with me and sleep. Guess I'll have to get a kitten. Nature is cruel.
No one in their right mind gets up this early on a Saturday morning. Except of course, mikayla. She doesn't like to miss her morning cartoons. I will retrain this girl to sleep in someday soon. I guess it makes it a little better when I get to see her dance and wiggle to the 'Bear in the Big Blue House' tune. She's such a cute dancer. At only one year old she's got her favorite cartoons and she likes to dance to the themes. Before long, she's gonna be singing them. I can't believe she's growing up this fast. Don't worry, I'm not gonna try and slow it down, but that doesn't mean it isn't something that will be missed. I still wish sometimes that she was that little ball of goo that I could just cuddle and hold. And that wouldn't protest or try and wiggle away because she hasn't pushed all the buttons on the Elmo sleepytime book quite enough times yet. "Elmo's not sleepy, Elmo's not sleepy, Elmo's not sleepy, Elmo's not sleepy........over and over and over. Yes, now I miss the goo. I used to rub the top of her head with the bottom of my chin, kind of nuzzling her. I remember I used to get pimples on my face from it, but I loved to do it. She has always been my beautiful baby girl.
It's funny. I remember I used to beg my mom for a kitten. I always wanted a new kitten. They were so cute, and little, and fuzzy. I just loved kittens. But I didn't have a whole lot of interest in the 4 grown cats we already had (if you think 4 is alot, my mom has 8 now). I just wanted kittens, and lots of them. Lovable, cute, cuddley little kittens, and I never wanted them to grow up. They were all just soooo cute. I would have fed them cocaine and lighter fluid if someone had told me that it would make them stay little forever. I would get mad that they grew up, and beg my mom for another kitten.
Well, mikayla is starting to grow up. No, she's not 20, she's just 1, but she's not that cute and cuddley little mush of goo that used to sleep in my arms for hours. I miss that so much. I'm thinking about trading her in for a new model. Maybe one with more hair.
LOL
Okay, I'm just kidding! She's just turning into a severe rugrat and I'm trying to make lite of the situation. My cute little, cry only when she needs something, never fight sleep, well mannered, smile all the time, little limp needy lump of happyness, has discovered that even mommy has buttons she can push. And those ones are really fun. They don't make pretty music, or shine bright flashy lights, they do something better. They make mommy run around grabbing toys and putting her in the center of a toy prison, trying to stop the insanity. They make mommy barricade the livingroom with anything she can find, boxes, sheets, clothes baskets, anything big and easily movable. They make mommy wonder why the hell she telling daddy that she wants to have more kids.
Now back to the kittens, I think it's natures way of screwing us over. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter, and I don't regret her in anyway. But she didn't come with a warning label that read, "Will work to do everything to piss you off and I will never understand the word, 'no'". I think if his sperm stopped and said "Warning, will cause severe anguish, headaches, grinding teeth, bad eatting habits, arguements, broken sentimental and high ticket items, money loss, less free time, lost sleep, stains, discharge from every orphis, and hard core guilt trips", I might have thought twice about the whole thing.
Although, she is still really cute when she's in that half dazed stare, watching the tv, in severe need of a nap. I still wish she would cuddle up with me and sleep. Guess I'll have to get a kitten. Nature is cruel.
Friday, December 06, 2002
A Couple of Really Good Articles!
The first one talkes about the smallpox scare. The second one at the bottom talks about how Bush is going the 'roundabout' way to get Saudi Arabia. Very good read, makes ya think.
The first one talkes about the smallpox scare. The second one at the bottom talks about how Bush is going the 'roundabout' way to get Saudi Arabia. Very good read, makes ya think.
Thursday, December 05, 2002
Wednesday, December 04, 2002
This is what happens when you tell the lady at the salon that you want a nice loose curl put in your hair.
I'm not leaving the house for atleast a month.
I'm not leaving the house for atleast a month.
Tuesday, December 03, 2002
A New Perspective
I can't change everything around me, so I guess instead I will change the way that I look at things. I'm always talking about looking at things from a different perspective, I guess I should listen to myself more often.
My read dad had two children before he got with my mom and popped my sister and I out. Then he and my mom got divorced and he remarried and popped out two more. So he's got 6 kids, and Lana and I are the inbetweeners. Not to mention the fact that us 'inbetweeners' were never talked to until I was 17 and she was 18 yrs old. So that kinda makes things a little difficult in the happy family christmas thing. You see, his oldest daughter, our supposed half sister, Geri, is planning this Christmas party on Dec. 13th., and originally did not want to invite Lana and I. I dont' see why, she didn't have a problem inviting us to her wedding. Oh, I suppose that was just because she wanted gifts, oh, I get it now. Anyways, Geri is a different sort of person, so I hear. She is one of those 'materialisic' kinda people who don't use wire hangers. She wouldn't dare leave the cap off the milk, and God forbid the milk be on the third shelf down behind the processed cheese slices. Okay, okay, so I'm getting a little snotty here. Guess you could say I have a little bit of a problem with someone who has too many problems with other people and not enough fingers to point with. She just plain bugs me. I met her once, at her wedding of course, and she said 'hi'. That was it, just 'hi'. Sounds so mundane doesn't it? A bit overused. Anywho, so I told Al (biological pop out kids guy, half of the half of me cells), that i didn't want to go to some stupid party that I'm not really wanted at anyways. He goes and tells her, all nicey nice that we have 'other plans'. I'm sure that just busted her bubble. Thats okay, she's got plenty of bubbles lying around she can just replace it with.
The main thing that really nags at me about this situation is Al. He doesn't come down to visit Lana and I very often. But of course we have to pack up our house to go see him on the holidays. Whats up with that?? His family brings in probably about 60 or 70k a year, and that even with his new job that pays half what he made before. I just don't get it. He's supposed to be our dad, and we have to run to him? Anyways, that would be a long story I'm not going to get into. My new perspective come into play..........NOW:
You see, if I was an apple, and I fell off the tree, it's because the tree couldn't hold me any longer. So I guess I'll just sit around under the tree until someone comes and picks me up. And if they don't, I will decay, and become fertilizer for a fuckin orange tree. Thank you, good day!
I can't change everything around me, so I guess instead I will change the way that I look at things. I'm always talking about looking at things from a different perspective, I guess I should listen to myself more often.
My read dad had two children before he got with my mom and popped my sister and I out. Then he and my mom got divorced and he remarried and popped out two more. So he's got 6 kids, and Lana and I are the inbetweeners. Not to mention the fact that us 'inbetweeners' were never talked to until I was 17 and she was 18 yrs old. So that kinda makes things a little difficult in the happy family christmas thing. You see, his oldest daughter, our supposed half sister, Geri, is planning this Christmas party on Dec. 13th., and originally did not want to invite Lana and I. I dont' see why, she didn't have a problem inviting us to her wedding. Oh, I suppose that was just because she wanted gifts, oh, I get it now. Anyways, Geri is a different sort of person, so I hear. She is one of those 'materialisic' kinda people who don't use wire hangers. She wouldn't dare leave the cap off the milk, and God forbid the milk be on the third shelf down behind the processed cheese slices. Okay, okay, so I'm getting a little snotty here. Guess you could say I have a little bit of a problem with someone who has too many problems with other people and not enough fingers to point with. She just plain bugs me. I met her once, at her wedding of course, and she said 'hi'. That was it, just 'hi'. Sounds so mundane doesn't it? A bit overused. Anywho, so I told Al (biological pop out kids guy, half of the half of me cells), that i didn't want to go to some stupid party that I'm not really wanted at anyways. He goes and tells her, all nicey nice that we have 'other plans'. I'm sure that just busted her bubble. Thats okay, she's got plenty of bubbles lying around she can just replace it with.
The main thing that really nags at me about this situation is Al. He doesn't come down to visit Lana and I very often. But of course we have to pack up our house to go see him on the holidays. Whats up with that?? His family brings in probably about 60 or 70k a year, and that even with his new job that pays half what he made before. I just don't get it. He's supposed to be our dad, and we have to run to him? Anyways, that would be a long story I'm not going to get into. My new perspective come into play..........NOW:
You see, if I was an apple, and I fell off the tree, it's because the tree couldn't hold me any longer. So I guess I'll just sit around under the tree until someone comes and picks me up. And if they don't, I will decay, and become fertilizer for a fuckin orange tree. Thank you, good day!
Monday, December 02, 2002
Someone Please tell me what the hell this is?
Wait for it to load. It's some japanese commercial for something, maybe ketchup??
Wait for it to load. It's some japanese commercial for something, maybe ketchup??
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