Steak Survey
Tell Me if You don't think this is bullshit!?!
Pay special attention to the asteriks'. My fav part is the "See the end of the Survey for disclaimer"
Just to let you know, this is survey place that I subscribed to that told me I would get special deals and points to earn money for doing the surveys, and then I get this.........I don't even get to know the stipulations of the deal before I do what I have to do to get it.
You tell me, cause it's disturbing........
Thursday, August 29, 2002
And in adding to that last part, maybe (since a we as humans, can't associate ourselves as seeds, because seeds are parts of previous plants) the divine essense took a part of itself (just as we can take a part of a cell and divide it up and make other things out of it) and gave that to us as a seed of knowledge.
Just part of my drunk philosophy I guess......let me know what you think idestiny07@aol.com
Just part of my drunk philosophy I guess......let me know what you think idestiny07@aol.com
Segment – 2
Before watching this segment, I didn’t like to think much about Darwin’s theory of evolution. It really frustrated me that it seemed to make so much sense, yet it didn’t leave much in the way of humans having a divinity, or a divine purpose. I always believed that he was right in the way that all creatures on this earth are in a fight for survival, that that the ones with the best traits have the advantage and are able to produce more offspring, therefore their genes live on. But yet I still hated the idea when it came down to thinking about humans evolving from apes just because that’s the way the cycle went, not because of some divine intervention or some influence by a Godly essence. I can see why Darwin threw the western philosophers in an uproar, he truly challenged their beliefs and had strong evidence for doing so.
Now that I have watched this segment, I have seen more than one side of the argument, and I’m not so frustrated with Darwin’s theory. I like the idea of combining some of the theories to come up with my own. Although I am not much of a philosopher, and I’m sure my ideas have holes in them, it just gives me a little sense of security in trying to think about this for myself instead of letting a bunch of other people tell me what is and what isn’t.
I like Thomas Aquinas’ view that everything has a purpose, from the “simplest elements” all the way to humans, and even through the “heavenly bodies”. I have always felt that this was true, but was never able to put the idea to words as well. And his final thought is what strikes me the most, “But the first cause of all things is God. So the ultimate purpose of humans is to know God.” I’m thinking that maybe this is true. Just as the grass feeds the animals, the animals feed the humans, who do humans feed? We are truly unique with our intellect and ability to use reason, so why shouldn’t our purpose be more unique then to just feed another as the animals feed on plants?
Now you are asking how am I combining these two theories? Well, Darwin believes the ‘survival of the fittest’, the best creature wins, ensuring that the most powerful and creatures that are better able to endure live on. A way of cleansing, if you will. And Thomas Aquinas says that everything has a purpose, it’s a circle of life. I believe that both of these could be true. I do believe that Darwin’s theory works, but is limited. I believe there is some help in there from a divine source, or from the next one up on the chain. Just as we plant crops, to feed the animals, the then feed ourselves, what if the divine power, or the God Aquinas talks about, has helped by planting a seed in the same way, except this seed is of knowledge, and it’s planted in humans. In some way, by this seed being planted, God or the divine essence is helping itself.
And though I am running out of space, I could also use this theory to talk about the psychological egoism that Moritz Schlick. But maybe I’ll go into that next time.
Before watching this segment, I didn’t like to think much about Darwin’s theory of evolution. It really frustrated me that it seemed to make so much sense, yet it didn’t leave much in the way of humans having a divinity, or a divine purpose. I always believed that he was right in the way that all creatures on this earth are in a fight for survival, that that the ones with the best traits have the advantage and are able to produce more offspring, therefore their genes live on. But yet I still hated the idea when it came down to thinking about humans evolving from apes just because that’s the way the cycle went, not because of some divine intervention or some influence by a Godly essence. I can see why Darwin threw the western philosophers in an uproar, he truly challenged their beliefs and had strong evidence for doing so.
Now that I have watched this segment, I have seen more than one side of the argument, and I’m not so frustrated with Darwin’s theory. I like the idea of combining some of the theories to come up with my own. Although I am not much of a philosopher, and I’m sure my ideas have holes in them, it just gives me a little sense of security in trying to think about this for myself instead of letting a bunch of other people tell me what is and what isn’t.
I like Thomas Aquinas’ view that everything has a purpose, from the “simplest elements” all the way to humans, and even through the “heavenly bodies”. I have always felt that this was true, but was never able to put the idea to words as well. And his final thought is what strikes me the most, “But the first cause of all things is God. So the ultimate purpose of humans is to know God.” I’m thinking that maybe this is true. Just as the grass feeds the animals, the animals feed the humans, who do humans feed? We are truly unique with our intellect and ability to use reason, so why shouldn’t our purpose be more unique then to just feed another as the animals feed on plants?
Now you are asking how am I combining these two theories? Well, Darwin believes the ‘survival of the fittest’, the best creature wins, ensuring that the most powerful and creatures that are better able to endure live on. A way of cleansing, if you will. And Thomas Aquinas says that everything has a purpose, it’s a circle of life. I believe that both of these could be true. I do believe that Darwin’s theory works, but is limited. I believe there is some help in there from a divine source, or from the next one up on the chain. Just as we plant crops, to feed the animals, the then feed ourselves, what if the divine power, or the God Aquinas talks about, has helped by planting a seed in the same way, except this seed is of knowledge, and it’s planted in humans. In some way, by this seed being planted, God or the divine essence is helping itself.
And though I am running out of space, I could also use this theory to talk about the psychological egoism that Moritz Schlick. But maybe I’ll go into that next time.
Wednesday, August 28, 2002
Darwins theory of evolution says that we are not in the image of god, but in the image of the apes. If that is so, and we have evolved from apes, all of our charateristics come from them.
One thing that does not sit well with me......unlike the apes an most other animals, we are instilled with knowledge. An in a way, knowledge upsetting to the theory of evolution. With being human and having this knowledge, we have the ability to
-Learn this theory, understand it, and believe or discard it
Now with that ability, also comes the ablilty to
-Discover what it is that will make us more 'fit' or better ensure our survival
-Have knowledge to take our intellect (knowing the above) and change the theory all toghether by changing ourselves, our surrounding, our genetics, our anything that we believe to be the greatest way to ensure our survial.
It seems that with the knowledge of Darwin's theory, we will turn evolution sideways, it will no longer be a natural occurrence.
One thing that does not sit well with me......unlike the apes an most other animals, we are instilled with knowledge. An in a way, knowledge upsetting to the theory of evolution. With being human and having this knowledge, we have the ability to
-Learn this theory, understand it, and believe or discard it
Now with that ability, also comes the ablilty to
-Discover what it is that will make us more 'fit' or better ensure our survival
-Have knowledge to take our intellect (knowing the above) and change the theory all toghether by changing ourselves, our surrounding, our genetics, our anything that we believe to be the greatest way to ensure our survial.
It seems that with the knowledge of Darwin's theory, we will turn evolution sideways, it will no longer be a natural occurrence.
So I'm reading my philosophy book, and the section that I am studying right now is on human nature. What I'm gathering is that the old philosophers really believe in a higher being that we are connected to, but also that we have a sense of self, therefore we are all our own part yet connected to this being. And then Darwin came along a screwed everything up with his whole theory of evolution thing. Then the newer western philosophers are starting to put us the same with all the animals, saying that its all genes and aggression. Like this one guy that I was reading talks about if we run into a burning building to save our child, that we doing it to save our genes, and everything we do is out of self-interest. Even when we give something to someone in need, it's more for the feeling we get for giving something then it is for just the ability to be nice. This is really a think piece.......must read on.
So I had another pregnancy test dream again last night. Except in this dream there were more girls than just me taking the test, there were like 3 other girls who were taking pregnancy tests and trying to help each other read their results. Very strange. The only thing is this time I didn't read my test results. I guess having to go through all the shit from last time, with wakin up and going on a test rampage, I didn't want to listen to the forces' bullshit.
Ended up going to the doctor. I'm now on the pill, so I guess I won't have to worry about those dreams anymore.
Ended up going to the doctor. I'm now on the pill, so I guess I won't have to worry about those dreams anymore.
Tuesday, August 27, 2002
A Little Family Chat
Lana has entered the room.
IDestiny07: hehe..........wanna get you and mom
Lana: ooooooh
IDestiny07: hehe
Lana: lol
MOM has entered the room.
IDestiny07: me's soo crazy
IDestiny07: HI!
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: :-)
MOM: yessum?
IDestiny07: so, wazz up?
MOM: wass ^^^^^?
Lana: you're strange mother
IDestiny07: <:-)>
MOM: has Caleb been GOOD?
Lana: yes! no accidents at all today (he’s potty training)
IDestiny07: he's been awesome, he just needs to learn how to grunt
MOM: yeah!
IDestiny07: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrunt
Lana: lol
Lana: he's still pooping in a diaper but that's ok for now
Lana: he even took a two hour nap today and woke up dry!
IDestiny07: me so fine, me so fine me blow me mind, yeah me me, yo yo, yeah me
MOM: as long as he doesn't turn into bot! lol
Lana: alrighty then
IDestiny07: turn into bot?
MOM: miki!
Lana: oh god....we won't even go there
MOM: lol
IDestiny07: what is bot?
Lana: Rob (someone we knew who went in his pants at a late age)
IDestiny07: LOL
IDestiny07: sorry, little outta date here, refill please
IDestiny07: lolol
MOM has left the room.
MOM has entered the room.
Lana: lol
MOM: this is a dead chatroom!
Lana: oh hush
Lana: it's family friendly - no dirty talkin'
Lana: lol
MOM: shucks!
Lana: atleast until Lindsey has that refill lol
IDestiny07: LOL
IDestiny07: *gulp gulp*
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: www.drunkphilosophy.blogspot.com
MOM: not againn!
MOM: ive read about your kind...
MOM: spammer you!
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: alrighty
IDestiny07: spam spam spam spam
IDestiny07: noah had a dream the other night that his parents got stoned
IDestiny07: do you think it could be a premonition?
IDestiny07: lol
IDestiny07: should I invite tanya, you know you all seen her log on (tanya is my real dad’s new wife)
MOM: pretty cool menatl image!
MOM: mental
IDestiny07: lol
Lana: lol
MOM: no
IDestiny07: he said his mom was chillin in her bed all stoned and he seen a big long joint in the ashtray.......lolol
Lana: this is cool, Linds.....I haven't read it all yet.......I couldn't possibly have that much to say lol
Lana: LOL
MOM: what is it?
IDestiny07: oh, if I run out of things to say, I still got archives at home I could add
Lana: the link you dismissed as SPAM
IDestiny07: about 50 pages already typed in word
Lana: cool colors....who did that?
IDestiny07: it's a template
MOM: i know...what is it about?
Lana: cool cool
IDestiny07: I wasn't about to mess with makin it
IDestiny07: it's a web log, kinda like a journal
Lana: love the title lol
IDestiny07: hehe
MOM: you thief!
IDestiny07: can you possibly imagine what state i was in when I made it
IDestiny07: theif?
MOM: thief!
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: theify eify
MOM: i before e except after c
IDestiny07: oooky wooky wooo
Lana: oh geez....the english teacher
MOM: you you you!
IDestiny07: oh yeah, and the vet
IDestiny07: me me me!
IDestiny07: i i i !
Lana: LOL
Lana: it it it!
Lana: they they they!
Lana: us us us!
IDestiny07: beer beer beer!
Lana: LOLOL
IDestiny07: oops, got side tracked
IDestiny07: hehe
MOM: i have too many adjectives to name here! (all good ones of course!)
IDestiny07: lol
Lana: lol
MOM: control thyself daughter, lest ye be zapped by the bug!
IDestiny07: whoeth beth thy bug thast thee speaketh of?
Lana: LOL
Lana: did we both have refills?
MOM: thee Great Computer Bug frometh thy skes O Yonder!
IDestiny07: LOL
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: o yonder, o yonder, I sayeth thy ponder, the bug of thy puter no knoweth............okay...got lost
IDestiny07: lol
Lana: lol
MOM: im giddy cause i put in 10 hours at work today...whats your excuse, daughter o mie?
MOM: mineth
IDestiny07: the excuse lies on the left side of my web page
MOM: huh?
IDestiny07: assume nothing, drink everything
Lana: assume nothing, drink everything?
Lana: LOLOL
IDestiny07: yeah! LOL
MOM: hehehehe
MOM: good one o greatest daughter!
Lana: Lindsey, thy drunk philosopher
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: hehe
MOM: lp: get my card? :-) (Lana’s birthday card)
IDestiny07: my poor kitty.........he's just sleeping.....poor rio is sick
IDestiny07: we are gonna put him in our room with water and food and a liter box and see what he eats/drinks and if he's going to the potty
MOM: lp?
Lana: yes, thank you
Lana: sick with what?
MOM: did your other half give ya one?
IDestiny07: I don't know.....he's sneezin alot
Lana: of course not
Lana: awww
IDestiny07: lets not go there
IDestiny07: the other half thing
MOM: ok i wont
MOM: but we';ll remember march 6th , won't we? hehe
IDestiny07: I'm thinkin rio has upper respritory infection or something, but dallas had it and it wasn't this bad
Lana: he irritated me earlier....I showed him my program and he's like "that's it??? it took you an hour to write that???" (Lana is not appriciated by her husband, he makes me really mad)
IDestiny07: WHAT AN ASSHOLE!
IDestiny07: it takes that fucker 2 hours ATLEAST to do a cd
MOM: let HIM try to write one!
IDestiny07: don't listen to him Lana, what you did was awesome
IDestiny07: it's a great start to a great future
MOM: woah..col it chickie...shhh
MOM: cool
Lana: I know! and when I got irritated he stumbles and he's like "well, I didn't realize there was so much to such a little program"
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: :-X
IDestiny07: *grrrrrr*
MOM: he wont understand unless you walk him through the steps.
Lana: I know....I was about to print out all the code to my "little program"
IDestiny07: he won't care
MOM: no foamin at the mouth or i'm gonna take YOU to the vet!
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: as long as you make him dinner and wipe his ass
IDestiny07: lol
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: you should be treated like a woman who is breaking through in her life and trying to make something of her family
MOM: he'll get very jealous before long...with all this knowledge you are acquiring...
IDestiny07: someone who is struggling soo hard to make your life work (notice I said your life cause he obviously isn't concerned about his life with you as long as you do wifey things for him)
Lana: yeah sure....all he'll see is something that's taking my time away from him and the children and this house
IDestiny07: not time away from him so much as time away fromt he children so he'll have to watch them
MOM: OH WELL!
IDestiny07: sorry, if I'm too much Lana just let me know
Lana: he'd be perfectly happy with me staying home forever if he didn't see dollar signs behind it
IDestiny07: that boy better see more then dollar signs before reality smacks the shit out of him
Lana: lol
MOM: its all about YOU!
IDestiny07: womens world, womens world, party on, excellent
Lana: I'm just so sick of him being such a crabby ass all the time!
MOM: a mind is a terrible thing to waste
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: lol
MOM: remember that slogan?
IDestiny07: no, I just remember the slogan "a joint is a terrible thing to waste"
IDestiny07: LOL
Lana: oh geez lol
MOM: omg
MOM: time for her toturn in!
IDestiny07: you won't waste your mind, Lana, I always knew that, it was just a matter of time before you got sick of what you were doing
MOM: you wont either wee one!
Lana: wee one LOL
IDestiny07: and you got sick of it, and here you are, and I feel for you cause you probably feel you are stuck in this position to have to take his shit because thats the only way you will get to where youwant to be
IDestiny07: lol
IDestiny07: weeeeeee weeeeeeeeee!
IDestiny07: 1
MOM: just a matter of figurin out which path is the best one! lol
MOM: wee wee wee all the way home!
MOM: miki wee wee
MOM: caleb wee wee
IDestiny07: miki wee wee sleepy
MOM: we all go wee wee!
IDestiny07: caleb has recently found his, yes
Lana: they all wee wee sleepy lol
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: hehehe!
Lana: we told him it was a "peepee"
Lana: he kept calling it his belly and now he calls it his peepee
MOM: you think thats appropriate?
Lana: why not?
Lana: you can't even call your parts by the appropriate names!
MOM: i guess he'll outgrow it later on
IDestiny07: you dont' have to outgrow it
Lana: I doubt my 4 year old needs to know "penis" and "scrotum" lol
IDestiny07: it's not 'taboo' to call your vagina a vagina or a penis a penis
MOM: oh and does noah call his his peepee? lol
IDestiny07: and to a child, yeah, its pee pee
IDestiny07: noah's not a child
Lana: exactly
IDestiny07: he calls his "little guy"
MOM: hehehe
IDestiny07: lmao
Lana: by the time he's 8 he'll find a better name for it LOL
MOM: lmao!!!!!
Lana: lol
Lana: like snake, or harry, or spike lol
IDestiny07: LOL
IDestiny07: little fluffy
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: *for the untrimmed*
Lana: lol
MOM: AOL Search: Search Results for "penis"
Lana: oh god mother
Lana: you porn addict
MOM: lol
Lana: we know all about you and your gay porn mail lol
IDestiny07: LOLOL
IDestiny07: I dont' know about gay porn mail!
Lana: LOL
MOM: gay?
MOM: clue me in?
Lana: I've checked your mail before and you get (or atleast you used to) gay porn email
IDestiny07: AOL search for Jack off
Lana: pictures of gay men together
IDestiny07: okay okay....I quit.....she started it
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: OMG
Lana: you guys are sick
IDestiny07: guys on guys mom, thats your new thing
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: I mean, I know about mid life crisis stuff, but wow
MOM: Puppetry of the Penis
IDestiny07: you could have told us earlier
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: I've seen that on real sex
IDestiny07: they make their penis and testicles into a hamburger
Lana: ewwwww
IDestiny07: stuff like that
IDestiny07: yeah, i tried to get noah to do it, he wouldn't
MOM: we now know what YOU watch for entertainment
IDestiny07: I even told him I would take a bite......geezzz......men, ya know
Lana: LOL
Lana: oh Keith watches it too
IDestiny07: hey, I almost but the real sex theme for our candle lighting song at the wedding
Lana: perverts lol
MOM: yuuck!
IDestiny07: I'm just open about it
MOM: i see
Lana: I don't need anything making Keith any hornier than he already is
MOM: body part mutilation is a real winner!
IDestiny07: no, it's not mutilation to put the penis and testicles in a hamburger shape, it's art
IDestiny07: lol
MOM: ok..deformation!
IDestiny07: now piercing the parts, that mutilation
IDestiny07: lol
Lana: lol
MOM: its just plain sick
IDestiny07: okay mom, whats the sexiest thing you have ever done?
IDestiny07: or the most perverted.......however you think of it
Lana: lol
MOM: PCWorld.com - Future Gear: Will You Be Assimilated?
Lana: no comment......clipping toenails lol (when we were really little my sister walked in on my mother giving my step-dad oral, my mom said she was clipping his toe nails)
IDestiny07: LOL
IDestiny07: suck suck, I mean, clip clip
MOM: this is your future^^
Lana: that's scarred me for life! lol
IDestiny07: LOL
MOM: get serious!
IDestiny07: we are serious
Lana: lol
MOM: http://aolsvc.pcworld.aol.com/computercenter/aol/article/0,aid,90903,00.asp)
IDestiny07: do you know the psychological repercussions of the clipping of the toenails?
Lana: LOLOL
MOM: im goin to bed and NOT to clip toenails...got an early day again!
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: lol
MOM: tootaloo
Lana: you're no fun
IDestiny07: okie dokie mother........only if you had toe nails to clip
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: LOL
MOM: bye ya'll we'll have to do this again sooon!
IDestiny07: night night mother.....love you
Lana: nighty night
MOM: night y night...remember tjose bedbugs!
IDestiny07: hehe
Lana: yeah I know....I can't get rid of him lol
IDestiny07: lol
MOM: no im not turnin spanish!
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: bon voige
Lana: bye bye
MOM: and dont forget those skeeters....
MOM: what is it they carry now/
MOM: ?
IDestiny07: west nile
MOM: ok
IDestiny07: do you think it comes from west of the nile?
MOM: is that from egypt?
IDestiny07: dunno
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: yo, Lana, still clippin toe nails?
IDestiny07: lol
MOM: i had a guy from egypt want to talk to me! the nerve!
Lana: I don't think so....don't wanna encourage him
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: lol
IDestiny07: the nerve.....OH!, such a stong blooded american
Lana: oh the nerve - yeah, I heard they were kinky lol
IDestiny07: lol
IDestiny07: they like to clip more then just the toe nails
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: I have to pee
IDestiny07: I have to utilize my vagina and it's inner workings
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: oops, is that too taboo?
IDestiny07: lol
Lana: lol
MOM: IDestiny07: sorry, little outta date here, refill please
MOM: OnlineHost: Your AIM account was removed from this chat room because identical screen names cannot be in the same chat.
MOM: whats that mean?
IDestiny07: I have no clue
IDestiny07: thats weird
Lana: alrighty then
IDestiny07: did you try to join the chat again on accident
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: okay......test.........mother, what is a file?
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: hehe
MOM: its in a drawer! lol
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: lol
IDestiny07: okay, mother, what is a window
MOM: its what you dont do!
Lana: you don't do a window? lol
IDestiny07: what I don't do......I'm not that kinky
Lana: I'm not gonna ask
MOM: "I don't do windows" lol
IDestiny07: neither am I
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: lol
IDestiny07: I don't do mac
Lana: that's good to know
Lana: lol
MOM: i was bein comical with my warped sense of humor!
MOM: ready...
MOM: next?
IDestiny07: okay
IDestiny07: what is a drive?
MOM: i dont know...i LOST that one sometime ago! lol
Lana: what is RAM?
MOM: (sex drive)/ LOL
IDestiny07: LOL
Lana: oh geez
MOM: a ram i would really like to find!
IDestiny07: OMG
Lana: lol
MOM: a hard driver! lol
Lana: eeewwwww
IDestiny07: well you won't get it from howdy doody
MOM: you asked!
Lana: lol
MOM: hehehe
Lana: what is a browser?
IDestiny07: *mom is officially stuck*
Lana: lol
MOM: a browser is a person that is a Vouyer!
Lana: she's thinkin' of something dirty lol
IDestiny07: yeah, thats why I said she's stuck
MOM: (one who likes to look!)
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: LOL
MOM: next?
IDestiny07: what is a byte?
Lana: oooooh lol
MOM: something i shouldnt do.
IDestiny07: hehe
Lana: lol
MOM: hehehe
MOM: this is gettin creative !
IDestiny07: sure is
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: what is a processor?
Lana: what is a floppy? lol
IDestiny07: lolololololololololol
Lana: lol
MOM: a signal to the brain that says...OH MG...Orgasm!
IDestiny07: thats definitely not a floppy.........lmao
Lana: LOL
MOM: am floppy is a has been.
IDestiny07: what is a fire wire?
MOM: a floppy
Lana: oooh baby lol
IDestiny07: hehehe
MOM: fire WALL?
IDestiny07: no, fire wire
MOM: whats that?
IDestiny07: LOL
Lana: fire wall is a very bad thing.....fire wire is a go, baby lol
MOM: never heard the term
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: a fire wire is a fast connection from something like a video camera to the hard drive
IDestiny07: LOL!
MOM: thats a noah thing...i wouldnt have known that!
Lana: I knew that and I'm not a Noah
IDestiny07: lolol
IDestiny07: what is explorer?
MOM: your a noah 1/2
MOM: youre
Lana: I'm half a Noah? I should be worried.....
IDestiny07: english teacher lost touch
IDestiny07: LOL
Lana: am I going to be popping parts out of somewhere?
MOM: oo lala! another one id like to find!
IDestiny07: maybe noah should be the one worried.......buwhahaha
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: LOL
MOM: get that last answer?
IDestiny07: yeah, thats why I laughed
IDestiny07: maybe howdy
MOM: oh...duh
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: hehe
MOM: hehehe
MOM: what are favorites? those high in my little "black book"...lol
Lana: oh geez
IDestiny07: huh?
Lana: lol
Lana: *time for a refill* lol
IDestiny07: LOL
MOM: dont you need to get keith off?
IDestiny07: did you read the site, nanner?
IDestiny07: get keith off.....LOL
Lana: LOL
MOM: never mind!
Lana: LOL you said it!
IDestiny07: hahaha!
MOM: get your minds out of the gutter! lol
Lana: that one was unprovoked!
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: LOL
IDestiny07: we are mother spaw, we for cannot help
IDestiny07: spawn
MOM: it's been lovely...tootaloo!
IDestiny07: lol
Lana: I've been trying to read it but a couple of perverts keep interrupting me lol
IDestiny07: hehe
MOM: byeeeeee
IDestiny07: bubye mother
Lana: bye bye
IDestiny07: lovey dovey
MOM: one less pervert here!
IDestiny07: ookie pookie
Lana: lol
Lana: howdy doody
IDestiny07: hehe
IDestiny07: LOLOL
Lana: lol
MOM: ill tell him you said hi!
IDestiny07: hehehe!
Lana: LOL
MOM has left the room.
IDestiny07: later mother, night night, love you, talk to you tomarrow
IDestiny07: awww
IDestiny07: me's missed her
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: so, how far are you on the site?
Lana: I was just into the second day lol
Lana: I'm getting tired
IDestiny07: you's gots lot o reading to do
IDestiny07: thats okay
IDestiny07: you really dont' have to read it
IDestiny07: it
IDestiny07: is just a bunch of mumbo jumbo
Lana: I wanna read it....it just probably won't be all tonight
IDestiny07: thats cool
Lana: if I had more to say, I'd write one
IDestiny07: you have lots to say, you just don't know it yet
Lana: but I only have you guys and mom and Keith's mom to talk about and I'd probably offend somebody lol
IDestiny07: thats why you don't tell anybody
IDestiny07: I broke the rules
IDestiny07: but like I expect mom to read up on my site
IDestiny07: I doubt I will offend you, I don't have anything bad to say about you
IDestiny07: atleast for now,...............okay...quit reading! LOL
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: if you want to get to bed I'll let you go
IDestiny07: I'm just going to ramble and bitch from this point on
Lana: lol
Lana: I was just gonna go read some more of this
Lana: and I gotta pee
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: hehe
IDestiny07: i feel ya sista
IDestiny07: lol
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: okay......i'll let ya read
Lana: alrighty
IDestiny07: I'll be here if you wanna msg me
Lana: k
Lana has left the room.
Lana has entered the room.
IDestiny07: hehe..........wanna get you and mom
Lana: ooooooh
IDestiny07: hehe
Lana: lol
MOM has entered the room.
IDestiny07: me's soo crazy
IDestiny07: HI!
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: :-)
MOM: yessum?
IDestiny07: so, wazz up?
MOM: wass ^^^^^?
Lana: you're strange mother
IDestiny07: <:-)>
MOM: has Caleb been GOOD?
Lana: yes! no accidents at all today (he’s potty training)
IDestiny07: he's been awesome, he just needs to learn how to grunt
MOM: yeah!
IDestiny07: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrunt
Lana: lol
Lana: he's still pooping in a diaper but that's ok for now
Lana: he even took a two hour nap today and woke up dry!
IDestiny07: me so fine, me so fine me blow me mind, yeah me me, yo yo, yeah me
MOM: as long as he doesn't turn into bot! lol
Lana: alrighty then
IDestiny07: turn into bot?
MOM: miki!
Lana: oh god....we won't even go there
MOM: lol
IDestiny07: what is bot?
Lana: Rob (someone we knew who went in his pants at a late age)
IDestiny07: LOL
IDestiny07: sorry, little outta date here, refill please
IDestiny07: lolol
MOM has left the room.
MOM has entered the room.
Lana: lol
MOM: this is a dead chatroom!
Lana: oh hush
Lana: it's family friendly - no dirty talkin'
Lana: lol
MOM: shucks!
Lana: atleast until Lindsey has that refill lol
IDestiny07: LOL
IDestiny07: *gulp gulp*
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: www.drunkphilosophy.blogspot.com
MOM: not againn!
MOM: ive read about your kind...
MOM: spammer you!
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: alrighty
IDestiny07: spam spam spam spam
IDestiny07: noah had a dream the other night that his parents got stoned
IDestiny07: do you think it could be a premonition?
IDestiny07: lol
IDestiny07: should I invite tanya, you know you all seen her log on (tanya is my real dad’s new wife)
MOM: pretty cool menatl image!
MOM: mental
IDestiny07: lol
Lana: lol
MOM: no
IDestiny07: he said his mom was chillin in her bed all stoned and he seen a big long joint in the ashtray.......lolol
Lana: this is cool, Linds.....I haven't read it all yet.......I couldn't possibly have that much to say lol
Lana: LOL
MOM: what is it?
IDestiny07: oh, if I run out of things to say, I still got archives at home I could add
Lana: the link you dismissed as SPAM
IDestiny07: about 50 pages already typed in word
Lana: cool colors....who did that?
IDestiny07: it's a template
MOM: i know...what is it about?
Lana: cool cool
IDestiny07: I wasn't about to mess with makin it
IDestiny07: it's a web log, kinda like a journal
Lana: love the title lol
IDestiny07: hehe
MOM: you thief!
IDestiny07: can you possibly imagine what state i was in when I made it
IDestiny07: theif?
MOM: thief!
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: theify eify
MOM: i before e except after c
IDestiny07: oooky wooky wooo
Lana: oh geez....the english teacher
MOM: you you you!
IDestiny07: oh yeah, and the vet
IDestiny07: me me me!
IDestiny07: i i i !
Lana: LOL
Lana: it it it!
Lana: they they they!
Lana: us us us!
IDestiny07: beer beer beer!
Lana: LOLOL
IDestiny07: oops, got side tracked
IDestiny07: hehe
MOM: i have too many adjectives to name here! (all good ones of course!)
IDestiny07: lol
Lana: lol
MOM: control thyself daughter, lest ye be zapped by the bug!
IDestiny07: whoeth beth thy bug thast thee speaketh of?
Lana: LOL
Lana: did we both have refills?
MOM: thee Great Computer Bug frometh thy skes O Yonder!
IDestiny07: LOL
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: o yonder, o yonder, I sayeth thy ponder, the bug of thy puter no knoweth............okay...got lost
IDestiny07: lol
Lana: lol
MOM: im giddy cause i put in 10 hours at work today...whats your excuse, daughter o mie?
MOM: mineth
IDestiny07: the excuse lies on the left side of my web page
MOM: huh?
IDestiny07: assume nothing, drink everything
Lana: assume nothing, drink everything?
Lana: LOLOL
IDestiny07: yeah! LOL
MOM: hehehehe
MOM: good one o greatest daughter!
Lana: Lindsey, thy drunk philosopher
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: hehe
MOM: lp: get my card? :-) (Lana’s birthday card)
IDestiny07: my poor kitty.........he's just sleeping.....poor rio is sick
IDestiny07: we are gonna put him in our room with water and food and a liter box and see what he eats/drinks and if he's going to the potty
MOM: lp?
Lana: yes, thank you
Lana: sick with what?
MOM: did your other half give ya one?
IDestiny07: I don't know.....he's sneezin alot
Lana: of course not
Lana: awww
IDestiny07: lets not go there
IDestiny07: the other half thing
MOM: ok i wont
MOM: but we';ll remember march 6th , won't we? hehe
IDestiny07: I'm thinkin rio has upper respritory infection or something, but dallas had it and it wasn't this bad
Lana: he irritated me earlier....I showed him my program and he's like "that's it??? it took you an hour to write that???" (Lana is not appriciated by her husband, he makes me really mad)
IDestiny07: WHAT AN ASSHOLE!
IDestiny07: it takes that fucker 2 hours ATLEAST to do a cd
MOM: let HIM try to write one!
IDestiny07: don't listen to him Lana, what you did was awesome
IDestiny07: it's a great start to a great future
MOM: woah..col it chickie...shhh
MOM: cool
Lana: I know! and when I got irritated he stumbles and he's like "well, I didn't realize there was so much to such a little program"
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: :-X
IDestiny07: *grrrrrr*
MOM: he wont understand unless you walk him through the steps.
Lana: I know....I was about to print out all the code to my "little program"
IDestiny07: he won't care
MOM: no foamin at the mouth or i'm gonna take YOU to the vet!
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: as long as you make him dinner and wipe his ass
IDestiny07: lol
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: you should be treated like a woman who is breaking through in her life and trying to make something of her family
MOM: he'll get very jealous before long...with all this knowledge you are acquiring...
IDestiny07: someone who is struggling soo hard to make your life work (notice I said your life cause he obviously isn't concerned about his life with you as long as you do wifey things for him)
Lana: yeah sure....all he'll see is something that's taking my time away from him and the children and this house
IDestiny07: not time away from him so much as time away fromt he children so he'll have to watch them
MOM: OH WELL!
IDestiny07: sorry, if I'm too much Lana just let me know
Lana: he'd be perfectly happy with me staying home forever if he didn't see dollar signs behind it
IDestiny07: that boy better see more then dollar signs before reality smacks the shit out of him
Lana: lol
MOM: its all about YOU!
IDestiny07: womens world, womens world, party on, excellent
Lana: I'm just so sick of him being such a crabby ass all the time!
MOM: a mind is a terrible thing to waste
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: lol
MOM: remember that slogan?
IDestiny07: no, I just remember the slogan "a joint is a terrible thing to waste"
IDestiny07: LOL
Lana: oh geez lol
MOM: omg
MOM: time for her toturn in!
IDestiny07: you won't waste your mind, Lana, I always knew that, it was just a matter of time before you got sick of what you were doing
MOM: you wont either wee one!
Lana: wee one LOL
IDestiny07: and you got sick of it, and here you are, and I feel for you cause you probably feel you are stuck in this position to have to take his shit because thats the only way you will get to where youwant to be
IDestiny07: lol
IDestiny07: weeeeeee weeeeeeeeee!
IDestiny07: 1
MOM: just a matter of figurin out which path is the best one! lol
MOM: wee wee wee all the way home!
MOM: miki wee wee
MOM: caleb wee wee
IDestiny07: miki wee wee sleepy
MOM: we all go wee wee!
IDestiny07: caleb has recently found his, yes
Lana: they all wee wee sleepy lol
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: hehehe!
Lana: we told him it was a "peepee"
Lana: he kept calling it his belly and now he calls it his peepee
MOM: you think thats appropriate?
Lana: why not?
Lana: you can't even call your parts by the appropriate names!
MOM: i guess he'll outgrow it later on
IDestiny07: you dont' have to outgrow it
Lana: I doubt my 4 year old needs to know "penis" and "scrotum" lol
IDestiny07: it's not 'taboo' to call your vagina a vagina or a penis a penis
MOM: oh and does noah call his his peepee? lol
IDestiny07: and to a child, yeah, its pee pee
IDestiny07: noah's not a child
Lana: exactly
IDestiny07: he calls his "little guy"
MOM: hehehe
IDestiny07: lmao
Lana: by the time he's 8 he'll find a better name for it LOL
MOM: lmao!!!!!
Lana: lol
Lana: like snake, or harry, or spike lol
IDestiny07: LOL
IDestiny07: little fluffy
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: *for the untrimmed*
Lana: lol
MOM: AOL Search: Search Results for "penis"
Lana: oh god mother
Lana: you porn addict
MOM: lol
Lana: we know all about you and your gay porn mail lol
IDestiny07: LOLOL
IDestiny07: I dont' know about gay porn mail!
Lana: LOL
MOM: gay?
MOM: clue me in?
Lana: I've checked your mail before and you get (or atleast you used to) gay porn email
IDestiny07: AOL search for Jack off
Lana: pictures of gay men together
IDestiny07: okay okay....I quit.....she started it
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: OMG
Lana: you guys are sick
IDestiny07: guys on guys mom, thats your new thing
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: I mean, I know about mid life crisis stuff, but wow
MOM: Puppetry of the Penis
IDestiny07: you could have told us earlier
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: I've seen that on real sex
IDestiny07: they make their penis and testicles into a hamburger
Lana: ewwwww
IDestiny07: stuff like that
IDestiny07: yeah, i tried to get noah to do it, he wouldn't
MOM: we now know what YOU watch for entertainment
IDestiny07: I even told him I would take a bite......geezzz......men, ya know
Lana: LOL
Lana: oh Keith watches it too
IDestiny07: hey, I almost but the real sex theme for our candle lighting song at the wedding
Lana: perverts lol
MOM: yuuck!
IDestiny07: I'm just open about it
MOM: i see
Lana: I don't need anything making Keith any hornier than he already is
MOM: body part mutilation is a real winner!
IDestiny07: no, it's not mutilation to put the penis and testicles in a hamburger shape, it's art
IDestiny07: lol
MOM: ok..deformation!
IDestiny07: now piercing the parts, that mutilation
IDestiny07: lol
Lana: lol
MOM: its just plain sick
IDestiny07: okay mom, whats the sexiest thing you have ever done?
IDestiny07: or the most perverted.......however you think of it
Lana: lol
MOM: PCWorld.com - Future Gear: Will You Be Assimilated?
Lana: no comment......clipping toenails lol (when we were really little my sister walked in on my mother giving my step-dad oral, my mom said she was clipping his toe nails)
IDestiny07: LOL
IDestiny07: suck suck, I mean, clip clip
MOM: this is your future^^
Lana: that's scarred me for life! lol
IDestiny07: LOL
MOM: get serious!
IDestiny07: we are serious
Lana: lol
MOM: http://aolsvc.pcworld.aol.com/computercenter/aol/article/0,aid,90903,00.asp)
IDestiny07: do you know the psychological repercussions of the clipping of the toenails?
Lana: LOLOL
MOM: im goin to bed and NOT to clip toenails...got an early day again!
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: lol
MOM: tootaloo
Lana: you're no fun
IDestiny07: okie dokie mother........only if you had toe nails to clip
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: LOL
MOM: bye ya'll we'll have to do this again sooon!
IDestiny07: night night mother.....love you
Lana: nighty night
MOM: night y night...remember tjose bedbugs!
IDestiny07: hehe
Lana: yeah I know....I can't get rid of him lol
IDestiny07: lol
MOM: no im not turnin spanish!
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: bon voige
Lana: bye bye
MOM: and dont forget those skeeters....
MOM: what is it they carry now/
MOM: ?
IDestiny07: west nile
MOM: ok
IDestiny07: do you think it comes from west of the nile?
MOM: is that from egypt?
IDestiny07: dunno
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: yo, Lana, still clippin toe nails?
IDestiny07: lol
MOM: i had a guy from egypt want to talk to me! the nerve!
Lana: I don't think so....don't wanna encourage him
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: lol
IDestiny07: the nerve.....OH!, such a stong blooded american
Lana: oh the nerve - yeah, I heard they were kinky lol
IDestiny07: lol
IDestiny07: they like to clip more then just the toe nails
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: I have to pee
IDestiny07: I have to utilize my vagina and it's inner workings
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: oops, is that too taboo?
IDestiny07: lol
Lana: lol
MOM: IDestiny07: sorry, little outta date here, refill please
MOM: OnlineHost: Your AIM account was removed from this chat room because identical screen names cannot be in the same chat.
MOM: whats that mean?
IDestiny07: I have no clue
IDestiny07: thats weird
Lana: alrighty then
IDestiny07: did you try to join the chat again on accident
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: okay......test.........mother, what is a file?
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: hehe
MOM: its in a drawer! lol
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: lol
IDestiny07: okay, mother, what is a window
MOM: its what you dont do!
Lana: you don't do a window? lol
IDestiny07: what I don't do......I'm not that kinky
Lana: I'm not gonna ask
MOM: "I don't do windows" lol
IDestiny07: neither am I
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: lol
IDestiny07: I don't do mac
Lana: that's good to know
Lana: lol
MOM: i was bein comical with my warped sense of humor!
MOM: ready...
MOM: next?
IDestiny07: okay
IDestiny07: what is a drive?
MOM: i dont know...i LOST that one sometime ago! lol
Lana: what is RAM?
MOM: (sex drive)/ LOL
IDestiny07: LOL
Lana: oh geez
MOM: a ram i would really like to find!
IDestiny07: OMG
Lana: lol
MOM: a hard driver! lol
Lana: eeewwwww
IDestiny07: well you won't get it from howdy doody
MOM: you asked!
Lana: lol
MOM: hehehe
Lana: what is a browser?
IDestiny07: *mom is officially stuck*
Lana: lol
MOM: a browser is a person that is a Vouyer!
Lana: she's thinkin' of something dirty lol
IDestiny07: yeah, thats why I said she's stuck
MOM: (one who likes to look!)
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: LOL
MOM: next?
IDestiny07: what is a byte?
Lana: oooooh lol
MOM: something i shouldnt do.
IDestiny07: hehe
Lana: lol
MOM: hehehe
MOM: this is gettin creative !
IDestiny07: sure is
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: what is a processor?
Lana: what is a floppy? lol
IDestiny07: lolololololololololol
Lana: lol
MOM: a signal to the brain that says...OH MG...Orgasm!
IDestiny07: thats definitely not a floppy.........lmao
Lana: LOL
MOM: am floppy is a has been.
IDestiny07: what is a fire wire?
MOM: a floppy
Lana: oooh baby lol
IDestiny07: hehehe
MOM: fire WALL?
IDestiny07: no, fire wire
MOM: whats that?
IDestiny07: LOL
Lana: fire wall is a very bad thing.....fire wire is a go, baby lol
MOM: never heard the term
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: a fire wire is a fast connection from something like a video camera to the hard drive
IDestiny07: LOL!
MOM: thats a noah thing...i wouldnt have known that!
Lana: I knew that and I'm not a Noah
IDestiny07: lolol
IDestiny07: what is explorer?
MOM: your a noah 1/2
MOM: youre
Lana: I'm half a Noah? I should be worried.....
IDestiny07: english teacher lost touch
IDestiny07: LOL
Lana: am I going to be popping parts out of somewhere?
MOM: oo lala! another one id like to find!
IDestiny07: maybe noah should be the one worried.......buwhahaha
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: LOL
MOM: get that last answer?
IDestiny07: yeah, thats why I laughed
IDestiny07: maybe howdy
MOM: oh...duh
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: hehe
MOM: hehehe
MOM: what are favorites? those high in my little "black book"...lol
Lana: oh geez
IDestiny07: huh?
Lana: lol
Lana: *time for a refill* lol
IDestiny07: LOL
MOM: dont you need to get keith off?
IDestiny07: did you read the site, nanner?
IDestiny07: get keith off.....LOL
Lana: LOL
MOM: never mind!
Lana: LOL you said it!
IDestiny07: hahaha!
MOM: get your minds out of the gutter! lol
Lana: that one was unprovoked!
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: LOL
IDestiny07: we are mother spaw, we for cannot help
IDestiny07: spawn
MOM: it's been lovely...tootaloo!
IDestiny07: lol
Lana: I've been trying to read it but a couple of perverts keep interrupting me lol
IDestiny07: hehe
MOM: byeeeeee
IDestiny07: bubye mother
Lana: bye bye
IDestiny07: lovey dovey
MOM: one less pervert here!
IDestiny07: ookie pookie
Lana: lol
Lana: howdy doody
IDestiny07: hehe
IDestiny07: LOLOL
Lana: lol
MOM: ill tell him you said hi!
IDestiny07: hehehe!
Lana: LOL
MOM has left the room.
IDestiny07: later mother, night night, love you, talk to you tomarrow
IDestiny07: awww
IDestiny07: me's missed her
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: so, how far are you on the site?
Lana: I was just into the second day lol
Lana: I'm getting tired
IDestiny07: you's gots lot o reading to do
IDestiny07: thats okay
IDestiny07: you really dont' have to read it
IDestiny07: it
IDestiny07: is just a bunch of mumbo jumbo
Lana: I wanna read it....it just probably won't be all tonight
IDestiny07: thats cool
Lana: if I had more to say, I'd write one
IDestiny07: you have lots to say, you just don't know it yet
Lana: but I only have you guys and mom and Keith's mom to talk about and I'd probably offend somebody lol
IDestiny07: thats why you don't tell anybody
IDestiny07: I broke the rules
IDestiny07: but like I expect mom to read up on my site
IDestiny07: I doubt I will offend you, I don't have anything bad to say about you
IDestiny07: atleast for now,...............okay...quit reading! LOL
Lana: LOL
IDestiny07: if you want to get to bed I'll let you go
IDestiny07: I'm just going to ramble and bitch from this point on
Lana: lol
Lana: I was just gonna go read some more of this
Lana: and I gotta pee
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: hehe
IDestiny07: i feel ya sista
IDestiny07: lol
Lana: lol
IDestiny07: okay......i'll let ya read
Lana: alrighty
IDestiny07: I'll be here if you wanna msg me
Lana: k
Lana has left the room.
Monday, August 26, 2002
Journal A - The Examined Life (Television College Course)
Segment 1 - My First Entry
Watching this segment has caused me to consider more fully the need that general society seems to have for a structured balance, the need for set ideas and set reasons. And too many questions, or questioning things that may ‘rock the boat’ and change certain foundations for reasoning or belief, alter this set balance, therefore making things uncomfortable or ‘painful’. General society seems to much rather conform to certain beliefs or behaviors than to even contemplate questions that might make them look or feel like a fool, a traitor, or even just because it is easier to believe what another believes than to decipher a reason of their own.
I see Socrates in the roll of the man who is forced from the cave. He stepped out from the conformity, forced by God and his internal need for wisdom, just as the man in the cave whose force was unknown. He began to feel the pain of thorough self and mind evaluation (and probably rejection), and then discovered a reality that was not known to him before (a heightened sense of God and wisdom). Just as the man in the cave had pain in his sight when trying to clearly see the objects whose shadows he once believed to be reality. In his quest for wisdom, he also shares with others his ideas and beliefs, just as the man in the cave did when he was forced back down. But also as Socrates is scorned and called a corrupter, the man in the cave was then looked upon as if he was worse than before, or destroyed in some way.
I believe the man being force back down in the cave and being ridiculed by his peers has a lot to do with the reasons most people today do not ask so many questions, of themselves or others. It even seems to be ‘taboo’ to question certain things. God is God and the sky is blue. And if you can get a scientist to tell you the sky is blue because of the gases in the atmosphere, then hey, you’re better off then the other guy, right? Most don’t even think to question God’s reason for making the sky blue, or why God seemed to connect everything but never told us the equation. Or moreover, who is God? Is God the sky spanning up through outer space and the stars are merely the dust trail? These questions alter reasonable thought, and most definitely alter rational thought. And I bet if I ask these questions to the catholic community, they’ll probably think I’m on PCP. But even more so, could I question the catholic community on the profound presence of God that someone feels when they are on PCP?
--I have to write a half to three/fourths a page on the tv segment, the study guide, and the text from the book. I have to do this twice a week for the semester, plus 16 heavy essay questions and 2 tests......fun fun.....gotta love college! I might change this journal entry, it's a little iffy.
Segment 1 - My First Entry
Watching this segment has caused me to consider more fully the need that general society seems to have for a structured balance, the need for set ideas and set reasons. And too many questions, or questioning things that may ‘rock the boat’ and change certain foundations for reasoning or belief, alter this set balance, therefore making things uncomfortable or ‘painful’. General society seems to much rather conform to certain beliefs or behaviors than to even contemplate questions that might make them look or feel like a fool, a traitor, or even just because it is easier to believe what another believes than to decipher a reason of their own.
I see Socrates in the roll of the man who is forced from the cave. He stepped out from the conformity, forced by God and his internal need for wisdom, just as the man in the cave whose force was unknown. He began to feel the pain of thorough self and mind evaluation (and probably rejection), and then discovered a reality that was not known to him before (a heightened sense of God and wisdom). Just as the man in the cave had pain in his sight when trying to clearly see the objects whose shadows he once believed to be reality. In his quest for wisdom, he also shares with others his ideas and beliefs, just as the man in the cave did when he was forced back down. But also as Socrates is scorned and called a corrupter, the man in the cave was then looked upon as if he was worse than before, or destroyed in some way.
I believe the man being force back down in the cave and being ridiculed by his peers has a lot to do with the reasons most people today do not ask so many questions, of themselves or others. It even seems to be ‘taboo’ to question certain things. God is God and the sky is blue. And if you can get a scientist to tell you the sky is blue because of the gases in the atmosphere, then hey, you’re better off then the other guy, right? Most don’t even think to question God’s reason for making the sky blue, or why God seemed to connect everything but never told us the equation. Or moreover, who is God? Is God the sky spanning up through outer space and the stars are merely the dust trail? These questions alter reasonable thought, and most definitely alter rational thought. And I bet if I ask these questions to the catholic community, they’ll probably think I’m on PCP. But even more so, could I question the catholic community on the profound presence of God that someone feels when they are on PCP?
--I have to write a half to three/fourths a page on the tv segment, the study guide, and the text from the book. I have to do this twice a week for the semester, plus 16 heavy essay questions and 2 tests......fun fun.....gotta love college! I might change this journal entry, it's a little iffy.
Sunday, August 25, 2002
Last night was crazy, as are most of the nights that I spend with my step-dad's side of the family. I can't seem to understand why people almost twice my age don't get the fact that they are not going anywhere with their life. I mean, I love them, I really wish I could help them, but it's getting to the point where it seems as if they are just starting to drag me down. I have been lost before, I have seen my own stupidity at work, but I've also come out of that and am working to change things.
My step-sister, Sheila, is just about as lost as they come right now. She has three adolencent children, and country home, and a brand new job. I know that doesn't sound bad, but read on.....
She has been divorced from the father of her children for about 5 years now. She has done good at struggling through keeping her house and her sanity through this time, and she has done it mostly on her own. Steve, her ex-husband, hasn't been good on paying child support. Sheila got a lump sum of about $7,000 last year sometime and spent it on her house (which is old and needed new supports so it doesn't fall in). Ever since then he has found it easier to pay every three months then to pay monthly. I guess it has something to do with him being a contractor and working when he wants to.
What I'm getting at, is so far she's been making due with whats been handed to her.....until now.
At the beginning of the summer, she decided that she hated her job that she has had for the past 5 years. She also wanted a vacation, something she hadn't had the whole time she had worked there because all her vacation days were takin by kids having to go to the doctor and such. So her idea was that she quit her job, take a couple of weeks of vacation, and in that time try to find another job. She told me that she had enough money saved up so it wouldn't hurt her if she did that. I thought, "okay, kinda crazy, but it's her life, as long as she knows what she's doing". So she did it, she quit. I worked with her here and there to help her get a resume made up and find some companies that she might be interested in working for. I figured that the point of her quitting her job was to make a step in a better direction and try to move upward. I soon found out differently.
She was really interested in this receptionist position at a Harley Davidson dealership, and didn't seem much interested in applying anywhere else until she heard back from them. I remember her coming over the day she interview there. She was wearing a skimpy bright red sweater and a long skirt with high black boots. TRAMPism at it's best. I don't mind people who look good, just not for a job interview.
I told her she looked good, as not to shake her confidence. I knew she would not have enough time to go home and change.
Well, the job didn't go through, and as we all know, the employers seem to take as long as they can to let you know. So she felt like shit, and blew off the whole finding a job thing for another week. At this point, her two weeks were up, and she didn't seem to care.
To make matters worse, her pump went out for her well water (she gets water from a well-lives out in the country). She barely had money, and could not go to her dad (my step-dad) for the money because he had just lost his job. So she went ahead and just did what she could. She got a neighbor to loan her a large tank of water that she can just dispense with a hose, and decided to use that for drinking, flushing toilets, cooking, and bathing. I thought that was a pretty good idea for now, temporarily.
About a week later, her propane tank (gas) was running low, and had to wheel and deal for the money to fill the tank. That set her back a little bit, but she seemed all right. She kind of seemed to pride herself on the ability to rise above all the bad stuff that was going on in her life, and I complimented her on her strength.
Sheila finally found a job, although it wasn't the one she wanted, she once again made due. She began to pay the bills again, and was still using the neighbors tank for her water. This lasted for about a month.
The summer to Sheila means a month without the children. Steve is court ordered to take the kids for one month every summer, and Sheila loved it. Of course she missed her children, but the time away meant she could do things she wasn't normally able to do. One of those things is party. Sheila loves to party, and most of all, she seems to BE the party.
So the children go with Steve, and I don't hear from Shiela for 2 weeks. When I do hear from her, she tells me about how much fun she has been having and this guy she has been hanging out with named Stacy, and how fun everything is. I ask her about her job. She says she likes it and skips back to the partying she's been doing. No surprise.
So I figure this girl needs some grounding....so I call her and call her and call her, just to talk to her and try to get her to stay home every once and a while. I end up hearing from someone else that Sheila has been saying that I have been bugging her cause I am in need of a friend. I figure "fuck that", so I leave her alone.
Sheila calls me one day from work, laughing about how goofy she feels cause she's been up all night smoking crank and just can't wait to leave. Now 2 years ago, that might have been okay to me, I would have been right there with her, but not anymore. So I just kind of laugh (I'm such a people pleaser) and ask her what she wants. She wants me to come to her house that night (Friday), and meet Stacy's brother, Brian, because thats her new guy. I must tell you that the only think I have been hearing about these people is how many fights they have been into and how unstable they are, and I just tell her that I have to talk to Noah about it, and I'll let her know.
I really didn't like the idea of my Noah being around assholes like that. He's a real sweet guy and has no need to fight, I don't want to be the one to bring a reason to him.
So I blow Sheila off, cause I can't handle this new side of her. She ends up losing her job and then finding another one, I guess it pays less. I hadn't talked to her or seen her until last night.
Sheila and Brian decide to stop over at my step-dad's house to see what was going on, cause her brother (my step-brother), his girlfriend, Noah, and I are all hanging out having beers. We had been drinking since three in the afternoon, so when she stopped over at about 9, we were pretty drunk.
Now my first reaction of Brian was, "he looks like an asshole". There was not one stitch of happiness written all over his face. Maybe if he smiled I might have thought he was good looking. But how could I find good looks in someone who screamed dickhead. He stood back in the distance, as Sheila pranced around as if she was a school girl again. She was wearing a tight little shirt with some logo stretched across her 37year old boobs, and talked as if she was the shiz-nit. I was nice, and I tried to talked to her about whats been going on with her life. She seemed to say only good things about everyone, but you could tell from her body language that she was playing little miss popularity.
I guess I don't understand it. This woman is much older than I am, but she is acting so stupid. She has her kids back, but who knows where they're at. Sheila wants me to call her and she says she misses me, but I don't think I'm going to. I can't let this drag me down, especially the whole drug thing. I've had it to hard with crank to even think about being around someone who is doing it, will do it, or can even get it if I wanted to do it.
I never realized how much you can love and hate your family at the same time.
My step-sister, Sheila, is just about as lost as they come right now. She has three adolencent children, and country home, and a brand new job. I know that doesn't sound bad, but read on.....
She has been divorced from the father of her children for about 5 years now. She has done good at struggling through keeping her house and her sanity through this time, and she has done it mostly on her own. Steve, her ex-husband, hasn't been good on paying child support. Sheila got a lump sum of about $7,000 last year sometime and spent it on her house (which is old and needed new supports so it doesn't fall in). Ever since then he has found it easier to pay every three months then to pay monthly. I guess it has something to do with him being a contractor and working when he wants to.
What I'm getting at, is so far she's been making due with whats been handed to her.....until now.
At the beginning of the summer, she decided that she hated her job that she has had for the past 5 years. She also wanted a vacation, something she hadn't had the whole time she had worked there because all her vacation days were takin by kids having to go to the doctor and such. So her idea was that she quit her job, take a couple of weeks of vacation, and in that time try to find another job. She told me that she had enough money saved up so it wouldn't hurt her if she did that. I thought, "okay, kinda crazy, but it's her life, as long as she knows what she's doing". So she did it, she quit. I worked with her here and there to help her get a resume made up and find some companies that she might be interested in working for. I figured that the point of her quitting her job was to make a step in a better direction and try to move upward. I soon found out differently.
She was really interested in this receptionist position at a Harley Davidson dealership, and didn't seem much interested in applying anywhere else until she heard back from them. I remember her coming over the day she interview there. She was wearing a skimpy bright red sweater and a long skirt with high black boots. TRAMPism at it's best. I don't mind people who look good, just not for a job interview.
I told her she looked good, as not to shake her confidence. I knew she would not have enough time to go home and change.
Well, the job didn't go through, and as we all know, the employers seem to take as long as they can to let you know. So she felt like shit, and blew off the whole finding a job thing for another week. At this point, her two weeks were up, and she didn't seem to care.
To make matters worse, her pump went out for her well water (she gets water from a well-lives out in the country). She barely had money, and could not go to her dad (my step-dad) for the money because he had just lost his job. So she went ahead and just did what she could. She got a neighbor to loan her a large tank of water that she can just dispense with a hose, and decided to use that for drinking, flushing toilets, cooking, and bathing. I thought that was a pretty good idea for now, temporarily.
About a week later, her propane tank (gas) was running low, and had to wheel and deal for the money to fill the tank. That set her back a little bit, but she seemed all right. She kind of seemed to pride herself on the ability to rise above all the bad stuff that was going on in her life, and I complimented her on her strength.
Sheila finally found a job, although it wasn't the one she wanted, she once again made due. She began to pay the bills again, and was still using the neighbors tank for her water. This lasted for about a month.
The summer to Sheila means a month without the children. Steve is court ordered to take the kids for one month every summer, and Sheila loved it. Of course she missed her children, but the time away meant she could do things she wasn't normally able to do. One of those things is party. Sheila loves to party, and most of all, she seems to BE the party.
So the children go with Steve, and I don't hear from Shiela for 2 weeks. When I do hear from her, she tells me about how much fun she has been having and this guy she has been hanging out with named Stacy, and how fun everything is. I ask her about her job. She says she likes it and skips back to the partying she's been doing. No surprise.
So I figure this girl needs some grounding....so I call her and call her and call her, just to talk to her and try to get her to stay home every once and a while. I end up hearing from someone else that Sheila has been saying that I have been bugging her cause I am in need of a friend. I figure "fuck that", so I leave her alone.
Sheila calls me one day from work, laughing about how goofy she feels cause she's been up all night smoking crank and just can't wait to leave. Now 2 years ago, that might have been okay to me, I would have been right there with her, but not anymore. So I just kind of laugh (I'm such a people pleaser) and ask her what she wants. She wants me to come to her house that night (Friday), and meet Stacy's brother, Brian, because thats her new guy. I must tell you that the only think I have been hearing about these people is how many fights they have been into and how unstable they are, and I just tell her that I have to talk to Noah about it, and I'll let her know.
I really didn't like the idea of my Noah being around assholes like that. He's a real sweet guy and has no need to fight, I don't want to be the one to bring a reason to him.
So I blow Sheila off, cause I can't handle this new side of her. She ends up losing her job and then finding another one, I guess it pays less. I hadn't talked to her or seen her until last night.
Sheila and Brian decide to stop over at my step-dad's house to see what was going on, cause her brother (my step-brother), his girlfriend, Noah, and I are all hanging out having beers. We had been drinking since three in the afternoon, so when she stopped over at about 9, we were pretty drunk.
Now my first reaction of Brian was, "he looks like an asshole". There was not one stitch of happiness written all over his face. Maybe if he smiled I might have thought he was good looking. But how could I find good looks in someone who screamed dickhead. He stood back in the distance, as Sheila pranced around as if she was a school girl again. She was wearing a tight little shirt with some logo stretched across her 37year old boobs, and talked as if she was the shiz-nit. I was nice, and I tried to talked to her about whats been going on with her life. She seemed to say only good things about everyone, but you could tell from her body language that she was playing little miss popularity.
I guess I don't understand it. This woman is much older than I am, but she is acting so stupid. She has her kids back, but who knows where they're at. Sheila wants me to call her and she says she misses me, but I don't think I'm going to. I can't let this drag me down, especially the whole drug thing. I've had it to hard with crank to even think about being around someone who is doing it, will do it, or can even get it if I wanted to do it.
I never realized how much you can love and hate your family at the same time.
So had a dream last night....it was choppy and I have been tryin to remember it.....but I can't seem to remember all of it. It was really strange, lots of wind, lots of family.....I'll just write what I can.
It started out (or atleast where I remember from), is at my step-dad's driveway.....there was this party and all my mother's sisters were there. I was walking up the driveway and my Aunt Tammy noticed me from around the cars, and started to come twards me. I knew that for some reason she was going to say something mean to me, so I deflected her by asking what time it was. I was told that it was [whatever time], but that it was only 15 minutes until the stores stopped selling beer. So I said I had to run and get more beer before it's too late.
So I started walking to the store. The wind began to pick up, really strong. It was pushing against me really hard. I remember looking at my feet as I walked cause the wind seemed to keep them from going. I went into this building, I guess it was a shortcut. The only thing I remember is coming out these doors to a landing above some stairs that went down to another street. I was sitting on this landing, the wind is still strong, but I know I am blocked by the building. I look up to my left, and the building is right next to a steep hill, and at the top of this grassy hill is another street. And I see people walking and driving, and they all look really mad, like theres something bad in the air. On the right of me there's this baby (weird dream stuff), and the baby only had one arm and could talk. I know this baby said something to me, and I can't remember what it was. We were both looking at this weird spiral thing in front of us on the other side of the landing, and we couldn't figure out why it was there. So I just continued to walk down the stairs. It was a hard walk as I came around the building, cause the wind found me again.
I don't remember getting to the store, but I know it was a hard walk, and amazingly I made it in enough time to get beer.
The next thing I remember is Noah (my husband) and I are in our bedroom, and I'm looking out the window and I see the wind again, it's blowing the trees really hard. I watch a branch break and fall, so I decide that Noah and I should move to the other side of the house where there are no trees that would fall on us, and get our daughter, Mikayla, so she's with us. We are watchin the news to see what is coming in, and as we are watching, my grandmother on my mom's side walks in the door. I guess the party migrated to our house the night before and she left something and was coming to pick it up.
She noticed that we were watchin the news, and decided to watch with us. As we watched it seemed like more of my mother's side seemed to filter into my house, for some odd reason.
So the weather finally came on. We watched our local channel 8 weather man stand infront of a map of the whole United States. He was pointing out a huge weather system that covered half of Oregon and most of Idaho. It had a trail that followed down most of the other western states, and it was moving directly west. In the middle of showing this to us, he noticed things that he didn't want to say on live television. But I guess these things stunned him so bad that he forgot whatelse to say and just kept studying the map, just agast at what he saw. We could hear him say, "Shit, shit." The news station switched back from the weather to other news stories because they were live and didn't want the weather guy freaking out on live television.
We're all sitting there, and we all just knew it was bad. Everyone began talking, and I remember sitting there in a room full of family and everyone was talking so loud you about couldn't feel yourself breath. It seemed to be the known fact that we have to get south, fast. That something HUGE was coming in and that if we stay we would probably die. We seemed to feel pretty confident that we were some of the first people to know this, and we wouldn't have to fight mass amounts of traffic if we hurried.
So finally I yelled out and told everyone to go home, get what they need, and meet back at my house in a couple of hours. So they left.
Not long after they left, Noah's family pulled up in their big blue truck with a topper on the back with a bunch of stuff in it. His mother, Mary, is really on top of storms most of the time, just like I am, so she knew what was coming, too. We all knew what we had to do, and we knew we had to do it fast.
I remember trying to get our stuff together, the stuff that was important to us. Some clothes, my notebooks and binders (stories, poems, journal entries, basically, my life on paper), and food. As we are getting things together, we are watching the windows and noticing the wind getting stronger and the sky getting darker. We begin to realize that we have to go faster, and should probably leave sooner than we had thought.
That meant that I would have to leave my mother's side of the family behind. I had no way to contact them to let them know that we were leaving. I was stuck with the choice of save my own family (plus Noah's side) and let my mother's side go, or stay to let them know that we were all too late, and die. Well, I felt bad, but I decided to save my family. Besides, if you knew my mother's side, you would understand.
Thats where this dream leaves me. I wish I knew what happened next. You know all those dream undertones, this dream had alot of them. Like the fact that we could feel some sense of evil, like the people walking on the street and how mad they looked. And the fact that somehow we knew that this storm would consume most of the central United States, and the only way to get past was to go east a little to get in front of the storm and then go south.
I wish I knew what all this wind meant. Maybe its a strong spiritual fight now that I have started looking into philosophy, and I'm confused about who I think God is. Or maybe it's just a symbol of the struggles that I'm going to go through with school and being a stay at home mom. I think that dreams are ours and that we need to use our own intuition to figure out just what they are trying to say, sometimes with a little help from a book. But it's hard not to wonder if dreams are like the files in a computer, just scattered. And maybe the dream is just your brain tryin to sort out the files.
Like in my dream, the trees were blowing outside our bedroom window, some of them falling down, and we felt that we needed to move to the other side of the mobile home. Thats from 2 things I can think of in the past week. One being a storm that came in and we watched our trees outside the bedroom window look like they were going to break, and the other being that we seen on the news a mobile home who had a tree fall on half of it, but the woman was safe cause she was in the other half where there were no trees.
Now just the general storm dream, I have alot of those. Personally, I think it's cause we live in a mobile home and I'm affraid we're gonna blow away one of these days. Everyone else I talk to seems to think it a sign of turbulence in my life. I don't know. I don't think that my life is so turbulent, but maybe thats the reason I keep having the damn dreams is cause my subconcious is trying to get it through my thick skull that there is turbulence. Who knows.
It started out (or atleast where I remember from), is at my step-dad's driveway.....there was this party and all my mother's sisters were there. I was walking up the driveway and my Aunt Tammy noticed me from around the cars, and started to come twards me. I knew that for some reason she was going to say something mean to me, so I deflected her by asking what time it was. I was told that it was [whatever time], but that it was only 15 minutes until the stores stopped selling beer. So I said I had to run and get more beer before it's too late.
So I started walking to the store. The wind began to pick up, really strong. It was pushing against me really hard. I remember looking at my feet as I walked cause the wind seemed to keep them from going. I went into this building, I guess it was a shortcut. The only thing I remember is coming out these doors to a landing above some stairs that went down to another street. I was sitting on this landing, the wind is still strong, but I know I am blocked by the building. I look up to my left, and the building is right next to a steep hill, and at the top of this grassy hill is another street. And I see people walking and driving, and they all look really mad, like theres something bad in the air. On the right of me there's this baby (weird dream stuff), and the baby only had one arm and could talk. I know this baby said something to me, and I can't remember what it was. We were both looking at this weird spiral thing in front of us on the other side of the landing, and we couldn't figure out why it was there. So I just continued to walk down the stairs. It was a hard walk as I came around the building, cause the wind found me again.
I don't remember getting to the store, but I know it was a hard walk, and amazingly I made it in enough time to get beer.
The next thing I remember is Noah (my husband) and I are in our bedroom, and I'm looking out the window and I see the wind again, it's blowing the trees really hard. I watch a branch break and fall, so I decide that Noah and I should move to the other side of the house where there are no trees that would fall on us, and get our daughter, Mikayla, so she's with us. We are watchin the news to see what is coming in, and as we are watching, my grandmother on my mom's side walks in the door. I guess the party migrated to our house the night before and she left something and was coming to pick it up.
She noticed that we were watchin the news, and decided to watch with us. As we watched it seemed like more of my mother's side seemed to filter into my house, for some odd reason.
So the weather finally came on. We watched our local channel 8 weather man stand infront of a map of the whole United States. He was pointing out a huge weather system that covered half of Oregon and most of Idaho. It had a trail that followed down most of the other western states, and it was moving directly west. In the middle of showing this to us, he noticed things that he didn't want to say on live television. But I guess these things stunned him so bad that he forgot whatelse to say and just kept studying the map, just agast at what he saw. We could hear him say, "Shit, shit." The news station switched back from the weather to other news stories because they were live and didn't want the weather guy freaking out on live television.
We're all sitting there, and we all just knew it was bad. Everyone began talking, and I remember sitting there in a room full of family and everyone was talking so loud you about couldn't feel yourself breath. It seemed to be the known fact that we have to get south, fast. That something HUGE was coming in and that if we stay we would probably die. We seemed to feel pretty confident that we were some of the first people to know this, and we wouldn't have to fight mass amounts of traffic if we hurried.
So finally I yelled out and told everyone to go home, get what they need, and meet back at my house in a couple of hours. So they left.
Not long after they left, Noah's family pulled up in their big blue truck with a topper on the back with a bunch of stuff in it. His mother, Mary, is really on top of storms most of the time, just like I am, so she knew what was coming, too. We all knew what we had to do, and we knew we had to do it fast.
I remember trying to get our stuff together, the stuff that was important to us. Some clothes, my notebooks and binders (stories, poems, journal entries, basically, my life on paper), and food. As we are getting things together, we are watching the windows and noticing the wind getting stronger and the sky getting darker. We begin to realize that we have to go faster, and should probably leave sooner than we had thought.
That meant that I would have to leave my mother's side of the family behind. I had no way to contact them to let them know that we were leaving. I was stuck with the choice of save my own family (plus Noah's side) and let my mother's side go, or stay to let them know that we were all too late, and die. Well, I felt bad, but I decided to save my family. Besides, if you knew my mother's side, you would understand.
Thats where this dream leaves me. I wish I knew what happened next. You know all those dream undertones, this dream had alot of them. Like the fact that we could feel some sense of evil, like the people walking on the street and how mad they looked. And the fact that somehow we knew that this storm would consume most of the central United States, and the only way to get past was to go east a little to get in front of the storm and then go south.
I wish I knew what all this wind meant. Maybe its a strong spiritual fight now that I have started looking into philosophy, and I'm confused about who I think God is. Or maybe it's just a symbol of the struggles that I'm going to go through with school and being a stay at home mom. I think that dreams are ours and that we need to use our own intuition to figure out just what they are trying to say, sometimes with a little help from a book. But it's hard not to wonder if dreams are like the files in a computer, just scattered. And maybe the dream is just your brain tryin to sort out the files.
Like in my dream, the trees were blowing outside our bedroom window, some of them falling down, and we felt that we needed to move to the other side of the mobile home. Thats from 2 things I can think of in the past week. One being a storm that came in and we watched our trees outside the bedroom window look like they were going to break, and the other being that we seen on the news a mobile home who had a tree fall on half of it, but the woman was safe cause she was in the other half where there were no trees.
Now just the general storm dream, I have alot of those. Personally, I think it's cause we live in a mobile home and I'm affraid we're gonna blow away one of these days. Everyone else I talk to seems to think it a sign of turbulence in my life. I don't know. I don't think that my life is so turbulent, but maybe thats the reason I keep having the damn dreams is cause my subconcious is trying to get it through my thick skull that there is turbulence. Who knows.
Friday, August 23, 2002
I want to upload photos and all that fun stuff........I wanna know where to go, what to do, how to do it, and how many drinks you get out of a mountain dew can.....please help......idestiny07@aol.com
A swedish candy apple sits on a french fry. The french fry cries out, "Oh no! You have salted yourself!" And that is my intruistic powers for today. On with the story:
So I'm sitting here with a Mountain Dew and a computer and I figure, what the hell, might as well tell everyone out there how goofy my life is. I am starting some college classes in a week, including a philosophy class. Well, I start reading the first chapter, and vwala! I'm a philosopher! Later that same evening, I had a few drinks and that just multiplied the feeling. I spent the entire evening ranting and raving about nothing but a bunch of unanswered questions. Basically, if you can get drunk and ask questions that make people either want to (A)contemplate their reasons for contemplating their existence in this reality, (B)contemplate the complications of decided whether or not there is any other realities, or (C)contemplate why the hell they are in this reality listening to you. Having discovered these variables, I am beginning to realize that my husband is thinking about burning my philosophy book. Although I don't think such a thing would be acceptable, but it would be neat watching how the smoke trails up through the sound waves as I beat him over the head for wasting $90 just because he feels the subject is too subjectable to a non-weilding non-conclusion.
So anyways.....as I was saying....drunk the other night, I went on for 4 Hours ranting and raving about how I loved Socrates! To tell you the truth, I don't remember what the hell I said, but I'm sure it was very good, as I'm always more intouch with my inner self when I am drinking. The more I went on the more my noah became sick of me. He just kept telling me that I was too heavy. Well, I know I gained some pounds since the baby, but I think I was getting to the point where even I couldn't hold myself up anymore. You could practically hear me mummbling about my theory of gravity as I slowly melted like goo into the bed. I'm sure he was praising the unknown forces for my final meltdown.
When I arose the next morning, I had a dream that I had taken a pregnancy test and it was positive! 'Wooa! The forces are beginning to speak to me.' I thought. 'I must listen.' Considering that a baby is something I have been wanting since the birth of my last (9 months ago), I strongly believed that the forces were now rewarding me for my keen insight and strong ability for thought delivery. My noah doesn't want another baby, atleast not right now. He doesn't get my theory on child selection and age counter-action. You see, I believe that to ensure my children are close enough in age that one doesn't have to pray through 'the survival of the oldest', or as I like to call it, survival of the one that knows how to stick the other in the closet and run away while the other doesn't know how to open a door, having a baby now is crutial.
There I go again......rant rant rant........*smack!*.......(slightly bruised but still in tact-I go on with the story)
So I get up and take the pregnancy test. As most females in the search for sperm (children is the accetable term), I keep a heathly stock of pregnancy tests in my bathroom. After 5 minutes, I look at the test, nothing. Okay, so I was drunk and the forces were screwing with me, whatever.....one test down, 10 to go. Another day, another test.....you will soon see where this is going.
I throw the test in the trash, and go on about my hangover day. I don't remember how that day went, so we'll just skip that part. Someday I will explain to you my theory on the brains ability to absorb more info on drinking nights then on hangover days....I think it's got something to do with the free flowing ability and why you pee so much, but we'll get into that later.
So the next day, yet another hangover day......I thought to myself, that dream had to be real. An again, like so many females on a search for sperm (pre-children), I dug the pregnancy test out of the trash can. I about fell over when I seen a faint second line. Immeadiately I called my Lana, the sister of sisters, and explained to her my dilema.
Lindsey: I pulled it out of the trash, and it has two lines now, but it didn't have to lines before, and I don't understand how it didn't have two lines before, but it has two lines now, and if I was pregnant wouldn't it have shown up before, but maybe I am too far along and it took a while, but maybe the red color from the control line that shows the test is working somehow spilled into the test window, maybe it had something to do with-
Lana: Lindsey, shut up. (always a calm and collect Lana) Take another test
Problem solved......not pregnant.......and yes, I will explain the rest of the story later......for now, must attend to the theory behind why you can't leave a screaming child in their room, I always thought they said that a little crying never hurt anyone.
So I'm sitting here with a Mountain Dew and a computer and I figure, what the hell, might as well tell everyone out there how goofy my life is. I am starting some college classes in a week, including a philosophy class. Well, I start reading the first chapter, and vwala! I'm a philosopher! Later that same evening, I had a few drinks and that just multiplied the feeling. I spent the entire evening ranting and raving about nothing but a bunch of unanswered questions. Basically, if you can get drunk and ask questions that make people either want to (A)contemplate their reasons for contemplating their existence in this reality, (B)contemplate the complications of decided whether or not there is any other realities, or (C)contemplate why the hell they are in this reality listening to you. Having discovered these variables, I am beginning to realize that my husband is thinking about burning my philosophy book. Although I don't think such a thing would be acceptable, but it would be neat watching how the smoke trails up through the sound waves as I beat him over the head for wasting $90 just because he feels the subject is too subjectable to a non-weilding non-conclusion.
So anyways.....as I was saying....drunk the other night, I went on for 4 Hours ranting and raving about how I loved Socrates! To tell you the truth, I don't remember what the hell I said, but I'm sure it was very good, as I'm always more intouch with my inner self when I am drinking. The more I went on the more my noah became sick of me. He just kept telling me that I was too heavy. Well, I know I gained some pounds since the baby, but I think I was getting to the point where even I couldn't hold myself up anymore. You could practically hear me mummbling about my theory of gravity as I slowly melted like goo into the bed. I'm sure he was praising the unknown forces for my final meltdown.
When I arose the next morning, I had a dream that I had taken a pregnancy test and it was positive! 'Wooa! The forces are beginning to speak to me.' I thought. 'I must listen.' Considering that a baby is something I have been wanting since the birth of my last (9 months ago), I strongly believed that the forces were now rewarding me for my keen insight and strong ability for thought delivery. My noah doesn't want another baby, atleast not right now. He doesn't get my theory on child selection and age counter-action. You see, I believe that to ensure my children are close enough in age that one doesn't have to pray through 'the survival of the oldest', or as I like to call it, survival of the one that knows how to stick the other in the closet and run away while the other doesn't know how to open a door, having a baby now is crutial.
There I go again......rant rant rant........*smack!*.......(slightly bruised but still in tact-I go on with the story)
So I get up and take the pregnancy test. As most females in the search for sperm (children is the accetable term), I keep a heathly stock of pregnancy tests in my bathroom. After 5 minutes, I look at the test, nothing. Okay, so I was drunk and the forces were screwing with me, whatever.....one test down, 10 to go. Another day, another test.....you will soon see where this is going.
I throw the test in the trash, and go on about my hangover day. I don't remember how that day went, so we'll just skip that part. Someday I will explain to you my theory on the brains ability to absorb more info on drinking nights then on hangover days....I think it's got something to do with the free flowing ability and why you pee so much, but we'll get into that later.
So the next day, yet another hangover day......I thought to myself, that dream had to be real. An again, like so many females on a search for sperm (pre-children), I dug the pregnancy test out of the trash can. I about fell over when I seen a faint second line. Immeadiately I called my Lana, the sister of sisters, and explained to her my dilema.
Lindsey: I pulled it out of the trash, and it has two lines now, but it didn't have to lines before, and I don't understand how it didn't have two lines before, but it has two lines now, and if I was pregnant wouldn't it have shown up before, but maybe I am too far along and it took a while, but maybe the red color from the control line that shows the test is working somehow spilled into the test window, maybe it had something to do with-
Lana: Lindsey, shut up. (always a calm and collect Lana) Take another test
Problem solved......not pregnant.......and yes, I will explain the rest of the story later......for now, must attend to the theory behind why you can't leave a screaming child in their room, I always thought they said that a little crying never hurt anyone.
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